|About||1 week ago|
TSA: Thigh Strokers Anonymous
The hero we needed.
What came first, the t-shirt or the strip search? Trick question, it was the TSA agent
Next time, as a really funny gag, ask them to hurry because you aren't sure how long you can hold the detonator in your colon.
Chris Pratt has let himself go
New season of Parks & Recreation confirmed
This is asking for unwanted attention.
Thank you. Unlike me, dressing as nice as comfortably possible so they don't find the 4 oz of devils lettuce in my carry-on. Fun fact:
TSA isn't looking for substances, like at all. They're trained to find weapons. Those dogs are bomb dogs. I bring at least 2 oz on every
domestic flight and never have a problem. You know why? Because I don't taunt TSA like this putz. Just write "cavity srch plz" on ur 4head
Hurr durr durr amazed at the size of the lad! You guys are like parrots. Find something original to write.
Looks like Geoff Robinson let himself go.
I’m positive that’ll go down well
I have to admit, I have bought t-shirts for specific occasions many times. T-shirt addiction is real.
The only time I get any human contact...Ill allow it lol
He just ate himself.
Don't worry, it'll all come out okay.
And now remember that the TSA is 100% security theater and in no way makes you safer.
You asked for it
People are hiding the occasion here. Also this shirt is stupid they're just doing their job.
Not anonymous since they have name tags.
"With with some latex gloves there's some leeway."
I hear it’s for a roll. A buttered roll.
Not 100%. The hand pat down sure is but the metal detector, xrays scanner and sniffer dogs work well.
No they don't, they don't stop shit
It's very easy to sneak a non-metallic fake gun past a metal detector, when a real gun would set off a metal detector.
So if I were to show you the entire warehouses of weapons that the TSA has stopped... that's not them stopping anything?
Look, the very best experts can't even reliably smuggle FAKE weapons that don't necessarily have the signature of real weapons.
Oh please, de-to-na-tor WAY too many syllables for TSA workers.
How the fuck is missing 70% of the most sophisticated infiltration with plastic harmless weapon... a "100% failure"? Repeating yourself.
They were not plastic or "sophisticated infiltration guns". I am repeating a simple truth you are ignoring.
it's irrelevantly easy to smuggle a "bomb" through if it contains no explosive, so sniffer dogs and chemical swabs have nothing to detect!
Burp Snacklin. Best of both worlds
You're own source said they were fake knives. How does something look like a knife but be fake? Because it's plastic.
They were bombs made for detection. They had the same chemicals as a real bomb, just no electronic detonator
Maybe he really is gay and gets off on the searches.
You think they smuggled ACTUAL lumps of C4 or equivalent explosives onto a plane? It says nothing of the sort in YOUR source.
Could be blunt. I enjoy how you twist facts so every single opening magically fits your narrative.
No, they just say test bombs in a congressional hearing. You seem to be ignoring that and assume whatever makes you less wrong
You have twisted the facts. It did not say a "blunt knife" it CLEARLY AND UNEQUIVOCALLY SAID a "fake knife". A knife that's blunt isn't fake
Or it just doesn't have an edge or a tip... But keep on pushing the narrative that TSA isn't trash despite being proven so.
Oh so you're not getting this from anywhere. You're making it up on the spot that they must have had explosives that could have been sniffed
YOU are not getting it from anywhere. You just assume you are right with no data. I found data, turns out, you are wrong
TSA does the same as EVERY OTHER AIRLINE SECURITY IN THE WORLD DOES. You're not trashing the TSA, you're trashing the planet.
The article you linked says 70% failure. Not 100
A simple pad down and look in a bag gets 70%. All that extra harassment, long lines and MASSIVE MASSIVE cost? It does nothing
Bombs with chemical traces? What are you trying to say?
You are assuming you are right with no data. Government come up with bullshit tests all the fucking time.
You keep saying, with no evidence, that these where not detected because they were plastic models. They where not
*in awe of the size of the lad
All you found was that the TSA in fact DOES test for particles of explosives and CAN find bombs that way, yet 100% failure still?
Only several massive tests of the TSA with congressional bipartisan backing. Where you have... stubbornest and no data
Isn't this how you guarantee a search on yourself?
No they don't, they're way more invasive under the guise of "keeping people safe". There's a reason they're a fucking meme. Go travel.
When all you massive expenses, harassment of the public and trouble results in the same as a pad down. Then you are a 100% failure
So your own source that you thought was good enough saying "fake knives" isn't evidence?
The SIZE of a test proves nothing. The only thing that matters about a test is its fidelity.
They said fake knives, YOU then assumed plastic, hidden super weapons because that fit your narrative. We are done here 1/2
I know when I am talking to a wall that does not accept new info. 2/2
a whole bottle of shampoo is not a weapon
Agreed. ANYTHING that gets through them is a failure, but it's not 100%. They tested that awhile back and they caught 3.8%. Still horrible.
In which case I totally agree, the pat downs don't work. But you're not saying pat downs fail, you say X-rays & metal detectors don't work.
in 70% of these case the failure was 100%
How the fuck do ineffective patdowns in any way make the established security of X-ray and metal detectors ineffective?!?!?
"an alarm sounded but even during a patdown the screening officer failed to detect a fake plastic explosive taped to an agents back"
Walking through an archway isn't harassment. You have given into anger over patdowns and now are attacking EVERYTHING.
well the whole blowing up thing you know
What do you think follows a metal detector going off? How about instead of arguing idiotic points you actually do some research.
I didn't assume anything, I presumed that by "fake" they were using what the word "fake" means in the english language.
He probably works for TSA and wants to feel like his untrained groping is saving the planet.
If I'm not mistaken, it works using magnetic fields. Just has to be non-ferrous. Not exactly fool-proof...
Those get binned and you know it. I'm talking about the hundreds of machetes caught EVERY YEAR by airport security.
That's actually Chris fatt
Fun fact, if you go through security with wet clothes, your undies show up as an explosive on the scanner. Free pat-down.
it's amazing the number of planes that got bombed in countries without TSA because they lacked the regulations wait...
Only caught 3.8% of what though. If they missed 96% of small plastic shivs... you can't hijack a plane with small plastic shivs anymore.
almost the whole world use the same tools for airport security, only the usa have TSA, and yet the results are the same. -> TSA zeal is
They were doing it to test the TSA's effectiveness, why would they use plastic knives?
useless and even detrimental to business and well being of travelers.
Yes, we are in agreement PAT DOWNS. DO. NOT. WORK. So what? We're shouting past each other on pat-downs.
You seem to work for the TSA?
You follow it up with another metal detector, a HAND metal detector which locates the exact source of the metal object.
Next time take 3 Viagra first. If they try to brush you off, demand a pat down.
EXCEPT THE TSA ARE POORLY TRAINED DROOLING FUCKWITS. The fuck are you even here arguing for?
TSA. DOES. NOT. WORK.
That is NOT how it works, it works by how ANY METAL that is MOVED through a magnetic field can be detected. All metals. No exception.
Opted out of the "voluntary xray" proceeded straight past regular line and on to a pat down. Wasnt even random. It was everyone who optout
Just double checked. Its ferrous and conductive metals. There are quite a few modern alloys that won't even be a blip in a detector.
Guy literally grabbed my cock through my jeans and asked what i was carrying, fucker maintained eye contact, very uncomfortable.
Nice. Someone get this comment a reach around!
Because they wanted to be seen as being thorough, give the TSA the greatest challenge even if you lose sight of relevance.
(citation needed) Mate, zero evidence on your part, all the evidence on ours. Go fuck yourself, I'm out.
Still a cutie
By the way, on-board security presumes small knives will get through, that's why the cockpit is locked and everyone uses sky marshals.
No, obviously work the the Illuminati. I'm the one who turned the frogs gay! Please, get some perspective.
... as Snack Lord.
You've personally seen a TSA agent actually drooling? Oh know you're not "lying" you're using "hyperbole" that's somehow acceptable.
No they are not, the security is in plain view meaning it's easy to formulate a plan and see the weaknesses, & metal detector specs r online
So the warehouses full of weapons (real weapons, not bottles) the TSA intercept every year, the passengers would have handed over anyway?
Some fool is going to think this is funny and then wonder why he got a finger up his ass in the back room of an airport.
Ok, apparently I'm *partially mistaken. Certain metals have to be specifically calibrated for, but afterwards CAN be detected. 1/?
Ferrous is IRRELEVANT. Please THERE IS NOT A SINGLE METAL ALLOY THAT ISN'T CONDUCTIVE, so ALL will set off metal detector.
Fine, run away. Was it not your own source that said they were fake weapons? Special pleading, you clearly can't defend shit.
That said, stainless steel, used in several types of guns, is among the most difficult due to its low conductivity. 2/?
No you are ENTIRELY mistaken. ALL metals have this property that means they will ALWAYS be detected by a metal detector.
Its far from a stretch to say that it can slip by undetected, if its coated or covered in a non-conductive material. 3/3
You must be thinking of a type of magnetism totally unrelated to how metal detectors work.
Yes and when you look at the metal detector specs you can see that the laws of physics make it absolutely impossible to bypass.
Apparently "Digital metal detectors", specifically. I wasn't aware there was a difference until now. Like I said, I'm looking into it now.
And you're again wrong, just because you see metal detectors and x-ray... how does that prove there's nothing else behind the scenes.
Read the rest. I'll happily concede that I was partially wrong. Its 4 am and I'm dead tired, but conductivity is still conductivity.
What are you talking about? Metal detectors work by how metal MOVING in a magnetic field alters the field, whether digitally measured or not
Yes and metals are DEFINED by their conductivity and conductivity DEFINES how metal detectors work.
You're not exactly throwing a bolt of lightning at it, you know. Theres limits to what can be detected, in practical scenarios.
Yes, but the limit is not the type of metal, only the amount of metal, distance and fidelity of the detector.
The TSA agent looks like he’s about to fight a white Mike Tyson in Punch out.
First part, actually it kinda does. Wrap gold in a non conductive material and you'll still detect it more easily than say, stainless 1/?
You're mixing up how some metal detectors are trying to detect a specific metal... and those trying to sense ANY metal.
due to the resistance of the material, and thus, the difference it will create in the field. 2/?
No but you can use it to hide ceramic based weapons, and dry ice based weapons
Unfortunately yes it does make it easier to break. There are two main methods, go through the technical side, or the human side
The technical side is harder but is not impossible, that involves understanding all the security measures to the T
The human side, involves turning or removing the humans manning the security. Either buying them off, delaying arrival or complete removal
No ceramic weapon can get through a cockpit door before you get taken out. Dry ice "weapons" are no threat to an airline.
But what possible harm is there in everyone going through metal detectors? and knowing they go through them?
You can also have other means both beyond security point and even before it.
Maybe. I mean it is 4 am. Tell you what, I'll be back when I'm more awake.
Hahaha. That's great.
Someone (government or private agency, can't remember) hid "weapons" on people to try to get them past TSA, a few years ago. TSA only...
3.9% of everything that went through. It didn't matter the material, they didn't catch things, which is what they state is their job.
This too shall pass.
Do cock rings and butt plugs show up on the scanners? Haven’t flown in a long time...
Thigh Strokers Anonymous Alliance Association Asswranglers
If you pop a boner, who is the harasser and who is the harassee?
Do remember the security theater works both ways - people who don't know what they're doing are less likely to try. It's impossible to 1/2
know how many/few people have been dissuaded merely because the TSA *looked* impenetrable.
I think we all agree that we would like to know how you know this.
Don’t play with my heart... I’ve been searching and haven’t found anything confirming this... is it true?
there's a club for helping you with that. they have t-shirts :-)
The material must matter. Hiding a plastic gun in your crotch is irrelevant as you can't kill someone with a toy gun.
Think about this, you're worried about weapons that can KILL, a toy gun can't kill, a real metal gun can. So you look for real metal guns.
And these so called "plastic guns" still use metal, enough to be detected. If that metal isn't used it cannot function as a gun.
It is agreed.
I now want to join the TSA, so I can search someone and while I'm on my knees with my hand on their junk, whisper up at them "but it is...."
Awkward...said the little dude kneeling in front of him.
I actually preferred husky chris pratt. I miss him
And gets on a no fly list
Trolling someone with the power of the federal gov. behind him, so worth it.
I can make a 100% plastic gun, but it's gonna be a handgonne. You'll need a lighter to fire it and it'll be a muzzleloader.
It'll only be dangerous if you can make every single person on the plane too afraid to get up and beat the piss out of you. So not at all.
It's like people who put a marjiuana leaf sticker on their car and wonder why they get pulled over all the time.
I mean it's all pretty stupid, hijacking of planes that is. And homemade firearms as anything beyond a fun hobby.
What kind of beautiful log cabin airport is that?
Is that buzz from home alone
Because insulting someone who can have that much control over your life is a good idea.
That's it. I'm gonna commit. I'm getting a Bowflex.
James Corden having trouble in the US
So you want someone touching your dick? I mean that’s fine..... I understand.
No it will never happen
A lighter to "fire" it, what are you talking about? You can't take lighters on a plane. Light it with a match?
The projectile can't be metal. And the gunpowder can be detected by trace just like explosives in bombs.
I don't know, I'm not a hijacker. I can't really think of any way to make a completely metal free firearm that wouldn't be complete garbage.
OP sure does like saying "haha" and "lol" a lot. That's pretty much all he says. And if he gets to the FP, he posts the same link
They would detect a really really dumb bad guy
I really don't know why you're downvoted when I know what your saying is 100% correct from mine and my friends experience.
You do realize that TSA has not caught 1 terrorist since they've existed right?
and that these patdowns are completely unnecessary since the introduction of the whole body scanner?
BAH they even throw out the "dangerous" liquids they confiscate into the garbage bin that's standing in the middle of the busiest section?
A sticker is not a reasonable or justified cause to be harrassed.
No it really isn't. The TSA is a joke.
You're assuming they can read.
If my job was to harass and touch strangers, I'd hate myself.
If you pop 2 viagra before going and dont wear underwear making muffled groans, who is more uncomfortable during the search?
Every one of these it's a big dude with a beard. Starting to think it's gay.
We did before the insane regulations after 9-11 too. Now we just have extra VERY costly bother for no reason
We stopped people without 2 working braincells before these insane regulations. Now we just pay billions to do so. That is waste
I've never understood why anyone hasn't come up with a penis shaped remote controlled pants stretcher contraption for this occasion.
You can just request a groping...err...pat down. No charge.
Could be Bozeman/Yellowstone international
That’s what I thought, Bozeman
My guess, too
(also: they bin what they think could be a bomb. how fucking retarded is that as a security measure? if it's safe enough to be binned, /1
it's safe enough to be on board of a plane./2
I guess he ate that sandwich
TSAAAA! also a good battle cry
one in the bum, no harm done.
If there is one thing that authorities are concerned with, it's being reasonable and justified. /s
I agree that at least the women I’ve seen working there appear impenetrable.
The problem is, if their job is to find weapons, the material doesn't matter. They need to be thorough and find weapons, not just put on...
/2 a show for public relations/image.
With enough gusto, you could kill someone with a spoon. The material doesn't matter. TSA just needs to learn how to do their job.
they consistently stop me from bringing on apple sauce and a roll of quarters, well, not stop, but they do find them
You know the funny part is, I don’t play stupid games so I don’t win stupid prizes...... like cavity searches. Funny how that works!
TSA is the only bad experience I've had in US as a none American. They are turned up to aggression level 100. I don't get that anywhere else
But what if those aren't their real names?
That was awesome!
He's actually a damn handsome guy this dude, chubby or not...
A dry ice weapon also can't get through a cockpit door. Also that's a ridiculous concept for a non-metallic knife.
For fuck sake, just because your doctor can't cure EVERY disease doesn't mean hospitals are "medical theatre".
Flight delayed, missed connection, spent a night in a hotel. Washed clothes in sink. Underwear still wet, lit up and earned me a search
Crazy weightloss journey....
Offended by my shirt? Let me just rip you in half. Guy's a monster
Who the hell is that dude?
Every non-government source I've seen says the opposite. I fly regularly, my own anecdotal evidence suggests the TSA bullshit is theater.
So... you think the X-ray scanners are just boxes without X-rays? You think the TSA have NEVER caught a single weapon? Ever.
You aren't the only one who has flown a lot, TSA isn't special, they are the same as EVERY air-port security checks. They aren't exceptional
You clearly do not understand the concept of Security Theater.
The only way TSA are different is some extra things they do that are ineffective.
Security theater is the practice of investing in countermeasures intended to provide the feeling of improved security while doing little 1/2
2/2 or nothing to achieve it.
What's so brilliant about a term like "Security Theatre" is such a vague accusation, it's impossible to refute. Like a conspiracy theory.
Dumb Motherfucker. Read the replies.
Crying "security theatre" and as bad as claiming that a medical procedure that turns out to be ineffective is "medicine theatre".
Why are you getting so angry?
My god that article is fucking LOADED with [CITATION NEEDED] especially anything TSA related.
So the entire warehouses full of weapons intercepted and confiscated by the TSA is "doing little or nothing"?
You'll also find a wikipedia page on flat-earth theory, that doesn't mean it isn't a stupid concept.
Those Weapons get confiscated everywhere. you still don't understand the Term Security Theater. IT THE EXTRA BULLSHIT, NOT NORMAL MEASURES.
It's just as fallacious to characterise ineffective security as "Security theatre" as saying ineffective medicine as "Medicine theatre".
Do you often shout that people don't understand when they simply don't agree with you?
This may come as a TOTAL surprise to you but TSA's security measures are the international standard. That is normal. Your ideas are not.
Some examples are terrible as supposedly things the public cannot notice (like observation) are part of a "theatre".
You've offered no evidence that you understand anything, as your argument keeps coming back to stupidity. You need to understand to disagree
Wow, you're resorted to flatly denying I said what I just said. I clearly acknowledged the definition of Security Theatre that YOU gave.
You you attempted to rebuke it saying that X-Ray machines are not fake and only the TSA's extra measures has captured Machette's.
Also you claim the article is false because it's akin to flat earth theory. And you claim it's full of Citation Needed Tags. It has 3 [1/2]
And they are on only 2 statements. That leaves 36 references valid. This is why I think you don't understand.
That DOES refute it. If it really was just for show you wouldn't need a real X-ray machine. And they capture more than just machetes!
Because "security theatre" is an insanely stupid criticism of security measures that are, of course, always being refined + improved.
I want you to accept how stupid it is to conclude: just because an effort fell short ... therefore they must have NEVER really been trying.
It does not, it proves it. It's highly expensive added cost with no actual benefit. That is the core concept.
"no actual benefit" that is such an obvious lie. Your "core concept" is built on a lie that X-ray scanners can't see inside bags.
The money spent on stealing phones and laptops, throwing out shampoo and searching for weirdly specific bombs is wasted money.
Your still not understanding this. The whole world has X-Ray machines that see inside of bags and find weapons and drugs. The TSA 1/2
What's this phone stealing nonsense? And the no-liquids rule is an international standard which originated from the UK.
This is going to be good, the one thing the TSA does different MUST be totally fake just to annoy the public. Conspiracy theory in 3...2...1
Theater is buying extra bullshit and screening procedures that are ineffectual and expensive. It's just impeding on our freedoms.
What is "buying extra bullshit"? Screening like extra thoroughly searching someone you know said he'd hijack a plane, CANNOT be ineffectual.
And another shocking surprise for you: EVERY NATION'S airport security gives thorough search of those they have extra reason to suspect!
Well YOU didn't read it. It clearly says search, not stolen. Only 6500 searches in 20 months? Known child abusers get their phones searched.
Ammonia residue from urine?
God, it even looks like her.
It's ok, let em stay scared. People love to live in fear
You're blowing that out of proportion. It's their JOB to find weapons and having a failure rate of over 96%, especially when our taxes...
/2 pay for it, is unacceptable. If doctors had that high of failure rate, people would be screaming for change there too. Calm down.
These statistics are hugely misleading, plus the "only 3.8%" statistic seems to be entirely fictitious.
It's more analogous to doctors being only able to cure 30% patients who have the worst diseases... hardly proves doctors are worthless.
Pre 9/11 rules to catch really really dumb bad guy. Post 9/11 to catch dumb bad guy. LoL . I know what you mean...
Waiting/processing to lower risk 10% is Better than flying in a billion pieces
I know they say don’t downvote the messenger, but I’m tempted... lol The truth hurts!
That's like saying "the TSA finds EVERY bomb, but misses the small guns and small knives". Your counter-analogy is dead wrong.
Well, that answers that question. Thanks Mr Soggy Pants.