Keep your kids safe.
When I was in the 5th grade my older sister died and I started to do poorly in school so my school recommended sending me to a therapist and they recommended "the best in the area." It cost my parents $75/hr, I remember this because I remember my dad freaking out about it. It started with him putting his hand on my knee to "comfort" me, and it ended with him running his hand up my thigh. I knew it was wrong so I bolted out of his office. He chased me across a parking lot and I locked myself in my mother's car. He told my mother that I was manic and irrational and a danger to myself and that I should be taken to the hospital. She didn't listen to him. She didn't listen to me either. "Boys can't be molested." My 5th grade teacher said the same thing. So I dropped it. It never occurred to me to say anything to anyone when I got older, and now I wish I had, because who knows how many other people he did that to. I tried looking him up to see if he was still practicing but I didn't find anything. I hope he's dead. I'm 32 now and I still have doubts about saying anything. There are perverts everywhere, don't leave your children alone with them, and if your child tells you something happened, believe them. Your kids didn't do anything wrong. The pervert is wrong. Always. Edit: As a few people pointed out yes I did tell my mother and my teacher. And they didn't believe me, so I never told anyone else until my wife and this post. Poor wording I guess. As for the advice to report it, even all these years later, I'm going to. As some people pointed out in the comments there are likely others that he did this to. Thank you. And to the couple people that had to ask if rubbing a child's upper inner thigh is really wrong: Yes. Yes it is wrong.
|About||1 week ago|
Sorry that happened to you.
Hey thanks for sharing man. Shit ain't easy even anonymously.
I hear too many stories of the parents ignoring the kids plea for help
Yeah, there are perverts out there but don't be one of those parents that are afraid of every damn thing. Most people are alright.
Are you good enough physical shape to go kick the ever-living shit out of him? Because that's an option.
who give you therapy for that...the-rapists...
What a pervert, you should tell authorities there was probably other boys
I've heard the "boys can't be molested" thing before.
Different time back then. No one wanted to believe there were so many reputable people harming kids.
That must have really therapissed you off. 0____0
I was sexually abused at age 5 by a trusted and beloved great uncle. Now that he's dead, I can finally put that out of my mind.
i feel this but i wouldn't put my full trust on kids, some tend to lie to get their way
Tell the police. Report it the state licensing board. He may still be molesting.
That actually made me laugh. Thank you so much for that.
A tough situation. Your parents definitely should have taken your side if you had no record of bad behavior.
Boys absolutely can be molested. I'm sorry the stupid adults failed you.
Looks like it’s time to return the favor and show him whose boss
He helped himself
Nah. They didnt tell you that.
Yeah i dont get molesting boys. Das sum gay shit right there.
I have a story. I was molested by two female babysitter, years apart. I'm not bothered at all, even in the slightest. What does that mean?
That seems counter productive.
With google & social media; it’s easy to look him up. There could be a case built against him somewhere. There are probably more victims. 1/
You might be helping out other cases against him. I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry you weren’t listened to; that SUCKS! Get help if 2/
It’s really bothering you - ie; repetitive thoughts about it - that affect your daily functioning or have been “running” in the back of 4/
When it comes to children, I'm a firm believer that they should be taken seriously and some sort of investigation be done.
your mind for a long time. If revealing it anonymously on here; helps...keep talking.
I happy to hear that you KNOW that you did nothing wrong. Good for you .
My mom didn't ignore me when I told her my doctor molested me. She just did nothing about it. She was molested as a kid too, so I still (1/2
(2/2) don't understand why she did nothing. No support, no actions taken, nothing. She is a horrible person but I still don't get this.
Thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry that happened to you.
"boys can't be molested" fuck that where they at. I'm gonna kick their ass. AINT THEY EVER WATCHED LAW AND ORDER SVU. Fuck.
I know this sounds rude, but I want to punch your mom and 5th grade teacher.
Also, find him and beat the fucking piss out of him. Break his hands and legs.
The rapist, I would be fine with killing him.
And that space was not a typo.
Well at least you recognize.she is horrible and can break the chain.
I remember as a kid going to the doctors with a stomach ache, the doctor for some reason needed to check my breast and squeeze them 1/2
I remember telling my mom and she never took me there again , I was 12 or 13 but was developing fast .
Was always afraid of doctors for awhile that I would never go for years until mid 20s
And all the anti-gay propoganda was any better?
"Boys can't be molested" is honestly the most frightening statement I've ever read.
You should go to the police what if he is still alive and practicing he could be doing it to other kids as well 1/2
He needs to be stopped and his medical license taken away and that starts with you going to the police. Now I said.
If he did it to you, he did it to others and could still be doing it to others so get off your ass and go to the police.
Do Say something if you don't want another boy knowing the feeling
It’s not too late. It’s never too late.
I was almost-pathological liar as a kid. That one time that I told the truth and she did not believe me. Never lied again after that.
When I was 16, my sister (9) had a friend same age. Her father came at the door looking for me. Apparently she had several notes 1/
Supposedly written by me with very mature wording what I wanted to do to her and in which holes. He showed them to my mother who 2/
Immediately recognized that the handwriting wasn't mine. They compared other notes they had from the girl and it was the same. 3/
So while I agree that you should listen to your kids, it isn't always true. If that's the way you will treat it, innocent people get hurt.
Talk about it, OP, talk about it until it doesn't affect you anymore. It's uncomfortable, but absolutely worth it. Good luck :) *thumbs up*
cool story bro
I know how it feels when no one believes you but not to that extent I hope you’re okay now
Pretty sure he didn't say that though.
Exactly vent this shit
That is what a professional molester would say hmm...
I think you should tell. Ask your mom to help locate him. People need to know that time won’t cover up their crimes.
I’m sorry for your loss. Do you feel like you should talk to a therapist about your sister?
Maybe she froze in the panic of her own memories? She couldn't do anything in her childhood, how could do something now? How to help you?
You can't just trust anyone, what a nightmare of world...
First of all, I’m kind of ashamed of myself for automatically thinking you were a female because the therapist was a man. Secondly, have
As with any crime, there got to be some evidence.
It’s alSo public information if he’s ever been reported to the state licensing board. Check their website. It will also tell you if 1/
If he still has a license in that state
Once you put things in motion I bet more people will come forward. Think of what other kids lives must be now, you might really help someone
(I’d imagine there’s at least one 30yo dude somewhere who’s life was ruined due to this man molesting or due to ppl not believing, or even a
parent believing the therapist about the kid being psycho)
2/2 ... you considered that finally speaking out might have a healing effect? However, ur Mom’s going to be wreck for not believing you.
I was molested by a female babysitter for a year and a half at 6 and 7. When I finally told. I was told girls dont molest boys. P/1
Just like adults. Funny how kids are just like small people, eh? That being said, it's far easier to spot a lying kid, than an adult.
yes listen to them BUT get it investigated properly because you dont want to make a mistake w/ your either your kid's or someone else's life
She was 16-17 when she did it, pretty, popular, and no one believed me. I feel for you. Know it was NOT your fault in any way. P/2 End.
All therapists are perverts. They devote their lives to listening to others people's secrets. No well person does that.
Did they send you to "therapist" or "the rapist" ?
"Boys can't be molested." That is such a haunting thing for me. When I was 17 I was raped by my then gf, every day for 5 months. I get (1-?)
told all the time, "Men can't be raped" or "Guys always want it." I can safely say I didn't want it, and I'm still terrified to speak (2-?)
up about it, because I know she would try to turn it on me and I'm 22 now, it's been so long, It would be simple for her to turn it (3-?)
on me and most people would take her side. I just know it. (4-4)
I think the best thing we can do, is to teach our children how to disable/cause maximum pain to, someone touching/attacking them.
Sorry you experience that. I hope the bastard fries. That said, don't just believe them - but listen to them and investigate.
I kinda call bullshit, but will feel terrible if im wrong. not many mothers who care enough to send their kid to therapy for that much would
also completely ignore what they said about something like that.
And hope that they don’t use it on you, when you won’t buy them the latest toy/game!
but I suppose some mothers might, so i dont know.
My great-grandma, grandma, and mother were molested. When I told her something happened to me she believed it’s something normal that all
Or she could be one of those "I had to go through, so you do too" people.
Women go trough, because she knew nothing else. Maybe something similar happened to your mom. Or she felt powerless bc she couldn’t protect
I bet a child could break a little/pinky finger, or bite one so bad it is unbearable. They obviously need to know when to defend themselves
Thanks for sharing op. As a new father these stories scare the crap outta me. Tell your story, it's not you that should struggle with this..
.. It's the people that let you down.
I hate to upvote because it's not a good thing but going green for awareness... Been there myself.
Why would anyone send their kid to THE RAPIST?
I'm not gonna get too detailed but I know a guy who got his life totally destroyed by an ex-gf with kids because she told them to lie, and >
Don't hope he's dead. KNOW he's dead or alive, and if the latter, report him. He may still be a threat, and doing much worse to others.
That's terrible and so scary that these figures of safety abuse their power. Our school therapist was mentally abusing kids. It's Messed up.
Isn't that one of the slogans for the Catholic church?
I don't understand how anyone could ever think that males can't be molested. Where t f does that come from? I am so sorry
> since they had an actual molester before, they & mommy both knew exactly what to say and how to act to get him convicted for 15 years. :X
I stopped talking to a friend because his brother got busted for molesting his two adopted kids, and I believed the kids.
In our defense, we thought space was a typo...
Boys can't be molested? I'm sorry but your mother and teacher are idiots.
Sorry that happened to you. He should be easy ti find if u try public records. Maybe burn his house down
I’m so sorry. Please know that disclosing things that are this painful make the moms like me keep special watch over our sons. Lifesaver.
Sorry your mom is so ignorant.
Girls being molested is 'nothing out of the ordinary' and boys being molested is 'impossible'. Messed up world we live in.
Report it. You never know who you could help. In most commonwealth countries there is no statute of limitations for these offences
track him down and molest him back
This is terrifying. What if he'd had you locked up somewhere? I'm sorry your mother didn't listen and said what she did.
Can't spell therapist without "the rapist".
And there most likely will if it's an actual molester, it's likely that there were other victims too.
@OP well done for talking about it! These things shape your development & are so hard to cope with. Sounds like you're doing great!
Or just report the guy to the police to face judgement and maybe give closure and peace of mind to the victims.
Give us a name
But then op will get into trouble instead of only the molester.
Two of my friends were molested as kids. Both guys. One of them repressed it for over 10 yrs and when it finally hit, he was so messed up.
Pedophilia is not the same as homosexuality. Also your comment seems to suggest that you get molesting girls... So...
Quit his job overnight, randomly moved to Turkey. Took yrs to rebuild his life when he came back. Was never really the same guy ever again.
Twenty years ago, someone I knew lied to her mother about being molested, to get out of trouble for mucking around. She got therapy and 1/2
They cared after “protecting their name and dignity” over protecting the victim. They still do in many cases.
Therapist.. more like The rapist.
ended up convinced of her own lie because of it, messed her up pretty badly. The two families relationship was messed up. Investigate too.
You have a duty to have this looked into by the proper people. He might still be doing things.
All terrible rationalizations.
people today only know how to strawman. what do you expect?
Even more so if the accused is family As a kid, my older sister physically and mentally abused me and all of my pleas fell on deaf ears. 1/
How can any parent ignore this. I'm sorry but your mum needs help.
There's a time and a place...
There is no 2/, that was a MISTAKE.
Told ur mom & counselor, but you never told anyone?
Honest question: what can you do as a parent in such a situation? New therapist for sure, but without proof it seems little you can do 1/
"Boys cannot be molested/raped/bullied." Is just the way of a person to dodge responsibility. It's awfull and we all know that it can,
to stop him. Public denunciation would get yourself sued, police report will likely go fruitless 2/2
is happening and will happen but for some reason a person who is scared to take action tries it's hardest to deny it so he or she does not
have to step up, grow a pair of whatevers and take action against it.
Ur mum may as well had ignored u if she didn't do anything about it she should have mother's are meant to protect not just ignore things u
Why would u want ur child to go thru want u went thru that's bs
I'm glad you had the instinct to flee and get away. I thought I was going to read the unthinkable
So not "trusted", but "acknowledged", then investigating instead of putting everything under the carpet?
Same shit here. Never trusted medical staff after that.
1/2 Report if at all possible. If there is several matching reports, it will in most cases be raised concern.
I got molested by a supervisor on a bus. Went to a therapist and was just told to say no next time, that I’d be bigger.
2/2 And recording sessions with therapists and similar can also be a useful precaution if it is legal.
Who the fuck says boys can't be molested?!? More than 50% of people I know have had either creepy shit, or full on molestation done to them
And that's just the people that TALK about it
I hope he’s dead, too. Best thing for yourself is to know it’s not your fault, that you did all you could, & you can move past this. <3
I love my dad, but I still haven’t forgiven him for giving my bio mom visitation. She and her dad are pedos and everyone knows it.
I don’t know if it’s common,but for me there came a time when I just wanted to scream it in everyone’s face. It DID happen, it was not your>
>fault and it was not ok. Not being heard can be really re-traumatizing, so I recommend therapy. The therapist will help you through the >
>process of finding out if he’s still practicing, other offenses, and pressing charges if you want to go that route.
You're brave for coming forward about this. Know you're not alone.
Are we the first people you told?
That’s still very much the case. The difference is now that there has been more research into children’s response to trauma & whether they
can relay an accurate account of what happened. Also, there is somewhat less social blame attached to the family of a victimised child.
I don’t mean to be disrespectful to your post, like, it sucks that happened to you, but there is a difference between the words “pervert”
And “pedophile”, a pervert is as simple as, liking boobs, so pretty much any every one of us guys is a pervert. Pedophiles, on the other
Hand, do what happened in your post, they try to molest kids, force them into sex, take pictures of them. Etc. But still, sucks that, that
Happened to you OP
My nan told me when I was 14. ‘There was a man on our street that interfered with children.’ I waited panicked looking btw her & my mum’s
distant eyes. I eventually blurted ‘..and what happened to him?!’ She replied ‘what do you mean?’ That was it. No one wanted the stink of
Her Father did the right thing. He sought you out and instead of going AT you, you got to resolve it. that's how it should go.
confronting him on their social reputation. I was aghast. It was so blasé. From a woman that disowned her daughter for dating a divorcée.
Boys can't be molested, men can't be raped, only white people can be racist - what a time to be alive.
Social status was more important than her kin. Not everyone was like this but I’m glad what makes a person upstanding has progressed.
I don't trust therapists, not since my childhood one drug me by my fucking feet back into her room while I was trying to get away from her.
Don't drag the perverts into this, they deserve better.
Best of luck. Keep moving forward. I would issue a police report anyway. It won't be useful unless he's caught again, but it could help.
"boys can't be molested" :/ dafuq
Molested = putting hand on knee and thigh? come on, my doc did that too, but I didn't have a breakdown. I told him to fuck off (at age 8)
I don't trust kids ether I refuse to be left alone with them
What kinda mental gymnastics do you have to do to convince yourself that boys can't receive unwanted sexual attention? OP feelings are valid
Might be a good thing to say something, especially if he is still practicing.
I told my son I would always believe him. No matter who he was talking about, even if it was someone close to us. Never doubt your child
They don't call him the rapist for nothing
They don't want it, they think it's normal because it is commonplace. I know someone who honestly thought everyone had a weird neighbor who
Would try to force kids into touching his penis. They did ergo everyone did.
more like the rapist, amirite?
I know a similar story. Makes it hard to look for help if you need it..
Do remember that according to OP's timeline, all this happened more than 20 years ago
SAY SOMETHING!!! You got away. Don’t risk letting others get molested because you have doubts about talking.
You just need to get with the program. Pedos have feelings too, and they were born that way, and who are you to judge, and...
Your experiences and feelings are valid. I hear you. I hope you are healing Xo
And besides, they're actually good people, and are historically misunderstood, and their lobbying is vastly better today than it ever was...
Depending on the state you’re in it may not be too late. Other states have 15-20 year statute of limitations for crimes against children
So, seriously. You are just too hateful and judgmental to have any basis to form a valid opinion about this. What're you, a conservative?
Either that you are incredibly lucky (super low chance but possible), or that you're just not able to see it because you're too close to it.
God that’s awful. Gender stereotyping and saying “boys can’t be molested” made the situation fucking way worse imo.
Niiice .. ? .. like .. whatever, ur not a pussy I guess lol, not saying scarred kids are tho
If taken to a new therapist, they are obligated to report it themselves.
*remove "themselves". It doesn't sound right. My bad.
Yeah man, even after all those years, you reporting the incident could stop him from molesting more kids
Nothing new, though. And we're actually living in a much safer world than even two decades ago. We're just made aware of more shit.
Hmm true touching knee is a comfort embrace, like a shoulder Pat/rub .. but not upper inner thigh .. upper top of things though ok maybe
It sucks that your pleas for help were ignored. Imho that hurts as much as the original abuse.
Idk pervert is .. perversion, corruption of a concept.. but devout like Puritans make it to be any sexuality that is not to make children ..
These days I'd personally assign pervert as the corruption meaning vs Puritan, but yes the Puritan is widely used assignment of "pervert"
Wait.... Did he put his hand on your knee and move it like someone does to another's back? Like with comfort / encouragement? ...
Or def upper inner thigh by balls rub? .. did he get near underwear area at all? ... If not, ur a fuckin pussy loool
I mean the knee grab / rub is equivalent to shoulder rub, but while sitting ... Common human body language...
Sometimes even the cops ignore it. My step father was part of a pedo ring. He got to live to his 70's without spending a single day in jail.
And I mean, that would equate to "boys don't get molested" ... Poor statement, but with my assumption of context, makes sense... That is..
.. that is to mean, it was not meant as molestation, but just a bodily communication... Such as handshake, Pat on head or back
Patriarchy and notions of toxic masculinity. There is this expectation that men always must be strong and capable of defending themselves. >
This expectation also extends to boys for some reason. Of course no human being can fullfil such an expectation, particularly not a child. >
It's cruel to have such expectations. :(
... I mean, ppl touch me like that as a kid, teachers, coach, dad, counsellor, day care ppl, friends ... Common gesture ..
Yeah, I think so.
Chances are that time has passed. 5th grade is generally 9-10 year olds and @OP is 32.
You grow up not trusting anyone because of this. I hated adults and authority for the longest time.
Years later, I'd still have trouble not smacking these fuckers for comments like that. Shit like this stays with you for a lifetime.
Huh, I went to see a therapist once when I was 13 or 14. It was illegal for me to be in the room alone with them unless I requested it.
Right behind you. Leave me some.
Just because something can devastate a person, doesn't mean it always does. If it just seemed to you like a weird thing that happened, (1)
(2) w/o a lot of shame, then it makes sense that you got over it easily. But remember that others who had different experience or outlook
I work in a clinic. Docs leave the curtains/doors open and no longer check for hernias for this very reason.
(3) could be totally shattered by molestation or assault, and try not to look down on them as overreacting.
I’m sure your not seeking sympathy but I’m sorry that happened.
Sibling abuse is way too often not taken seriously enough.
Depends on states statute of limitations
Lots of girls said the same thing about my elementary school counselor. Never happened to me. Maybe I was too ugly. Maybe they were liars.
"if your child tells you something happened, believe them. Your kids didn't do anything wrong. The pervert is wrong. Always" Bad advice dude
My 7 month old has never left my sight once. Not even with her pediatrician. Won’t let what happened to me happen to her. Over my dead body.
I don't understand why parents wouldn't believe their kids. What they're just gunna lie out of nowhere and say they got touched?
When it happened to me, I had a feeling something similar happened to my mother. She didn’t admit it, all she said was, “these kinds of
Things are private family matters.” And that was it.
I think you are miscalculating the time period here as well as the social stigma of boys being victims.
YOU obviously need therapy. Haven’t you ever felt better after venting to a friend or family member? Not everyone has that all the time. Or
They feel more comfortable talking to an objective outsider.
They tell you that you can trust them, and they'll believe you. But sadly they don't. My step-M use to hit me, and my dad never believed it.
its good that you went the right direction, could just have easily though "if they wont belive when im telling the truth why bother"
It's not only about prosecuting him for this specific molestation. It's to let them know that there might be a pattern.
I'm so sorry that happened to you OP, and from someone you were supposed to trust. Thanks for being brave and saying something.
Did you're friend not believe the kids?
Fair enough, and then when they didn't believe me I didn't say anything to anyone for another 20 years.
Forget the source, but I read this happens to 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys. 90% not a stranger. Means you currently know a molester. Scary..
Thank you. I just tried to look him up on their website and he's not listed so I'm guessing that means he's not licensed in the state now?
He wasn't a young man at the time, maybe he's retired?
I tell myself to always listen to my kids. This is my greatest fear that could happen to my children. A healthy caution of EVERYONE is good
It is easier to pretend it didn’t happen. I told my parents when it happened to me and they told me to not talk about it. They didn’t 1/2
Thank you all. I've decided to say something and see what happens. Hopefully I can help someone else.
And thank you to the bad comments as well for making me laugh and showing me that some things really never change.
2/2 bring me around my abuser for a few months. When they brought him around me again I told his parents and they said I was lying.
Guys can be raped. Guys can be molested. But if I was raped I would have left.
i feel you. broke my finger. school nurse just put ice on it, parents said its just a sprain. I put a makeshift splint on it, /1
but didnt do a good enough job as it healed slightly crooked. /2
I'm sorry this happened! You are brave for telling your story I hope telling it has helped you heal!
I was molested by a therapist. I was a teenager. I found out that there's a support group for victims of abuse by medical professionals. 1/2
I contacted them (in my home town) & before I even finished my story the lady said "You're talking about Dr. X, aren't you?" 2/3
"You'll be glad to know he blew his brains out a few years ago" That helped bring me closure. (I thought I could finish this in 2 comments)
Honestly, the amount of young boys who were molested is surprisingly large, although a lot of them are fine with it/doesn't have any issues
No he didn't. In fact, he said even w/ uncertainty he'd still stand by his brother. 13 years of friendship, gone. My dad was abusive, F that
Sorry dude. I can imagine that being a traumatizing experience as a kid.
Yes! Report it, esp if he came so highly recommended by the school!
Careful you don't cut yourself on that edge
You were wronged, as a mom that is my worst fear. Speak up to help kids, they need a voice
Same thing happened to me when I was about 10. Youth leader at my church. I’ve searched for him several times as an adult. No luck
$75 an hour for a shrink??? Mine charges $95 for fifteen minutes. Basically just paying to get an amphetamine script
My grandma didnt listen/covered it up when I told her my uncle molested me as a child. He later raped my brother for 5 years. She (1/2)
Also covered up my brothers rape. He was finally caught last year, and he walked because my bro was terrified of my grandma and uncle. (2/2)
Your Mother owes you an apology as well. My mother did the same to me and it felt like betrayal at a deep level.
went through v similar event. no one thinks boys can be victims i guess :|
In my case my parents kept it all really low because they were scared shitless of having to expose me if they did a formal report.
 And they thought that the stress of being molested was bad enough without having police/judges poking further into it, so I understand.
There's also the expectation that men will ALWAYS enjoy sexual interactions from a very young age because they're naturally pervs. WTF?
As a teacher and having worked in mental health as well: I want to punch that fucker in the face. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Especially since it's completely false.
If someone is molesting you, you are being molested. Actions don't care about your gender or age
And if they're trying to say that boys always want sex and thus trying to have sex with them is always OK then they need to get reported NOW
I believe you. It happens.
I was one of those kids, idk if I was molested cause it happened from a couple other kids my age, but I told my teacher, she told me 1/2
shut up, and im a liar. Told my mom, she didn't believe me at first, took me out of that place, and couple months later 2/3
puts me back in and had a "conversation" with the other kids not to molest me. jesus christ what kind of mom did I have to be calm from that