|About||1 week ago|
This was going around the news sights 6-7 years ago. An enjoyable read.
This is the most civil, and vicious burn I've ever read
Treated like a non entity, he didn't even have his own name.
That is fantastic!
This is great! Can almost see him sitting at a kitchen table, dictating this the the person writing it. Probably laughing his ass off!
cheers to the last line in particular
By the power vested in me by the state of Imgur, I now pronounce Colonel P.H. Anderson twat and waffle.
This is amazing I can’t fathom how someone who went through all of that had the willpower to write a letter that civil and eloquent and not2
Blow up at the guy or tell him what he really thought I woulda put smallpox on the letter or something this guy is a hero
That post scriptum is not part of the original letter, I presume.
Anybody know if he ever responded, or got the letter and what his reaction was?
I suspect he had mixed feelings. It sounds like as far as slaves go, he was probably treated better than most, but at the same time...
...was still treated poorly compared to his new life. I believe I read somewhere that the former master never replied to him.
Of course not he knew there was no way the conditions would be remotely better but that’s still so cool
so, did he pay?
If only we could have recorded the reaction to that eloquent and scathing response
Jourdan Anderson is a jounalistic master.
Jourdan: "hey pat knock knock " Pat: who's there? " J "garn" P: garn who?" J: "garn get fucked whitey "
Probably not. Most plantation owners after the civil war were broke and lost everything
Motion passed col. PH Anderson is now col. PH twat and waffle.
We have officially motioned for the removal of his rank. He shall now be known as PH Twat Waffle (aka, Salty Twat Waffle)
In other words, “ fuck you, pay me.” Well put.
Unfortunately this is likely a fake. It’s written too eloquently for a former slave, but even if we consider it to be true, how would 1/2
His former master even find him after the war and all the times? It’s simpler to hire other workers than to ask an elderly slave to comeback
That's some top dollar sass right there. Good man.
Congrats on your comprehensive knowledge on how 19th-century ex-slaves can and can't write.
If you think he is a hero, then emulate him. Be better, do not think of petty revenge but forgive and move on and always be good.
It sounds par for the course for Tennessee/Virginia slaves, the "most" of which you speak is usually associated with "down river"Mississippi
Trolling is an old habit as we can see...
Exactly. Plantation owners who thrived under the slave labor model struggled to adapt to the new way of doing business.
This doesn't read like mixed feelings to me. This reads like laughing his ass off at the fucker who kept him as property. Civil deathwords.
That same argument was used at the time in attempts to discredit Frederick Douglass. It was bullshit then and it's bullshit now.
He probably thought his former slave would come back and work for nothing.
I wouldn’t think he knew tho read an write withhi upbringing and all
A short version please?
His current employer helped him write it
Yeah right...how did the owner know where to send the letter??
Union Soldier and former slave to his old master in a POW camp: "Evenin' Master. Bottom rail on top now."
So say we all
I wonder if Mandy got triggered when she read that letter
Which volume is this letter from in the “Letters of Note” collection?
By which part?
The best revenge is living well - George Herbert
What's a news sight? Is it like glasses that show you the news?
I wouldn't say laughing. It seems that he's (rightly) bitter for the decades of his life lost as a slave.
well, it was the civil war
Yeah...and I can't blame him. But - laughter can be bitter.
Above is the list of autobiographies written by former slaves in the United States. This excludes the plethora of other slave writers.
Yeah. 30 years wages. Let’s just guess that would be about million $ today from a struggling farmer.
"You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine." When 10 words speak 1000.
They were all twatwaffles in the south. A union of twatwaffles built on suffering of others. Twatwaffle decedents want to go back to it.
This guy has impeccable reading/writing skills for someone who has worked tirelessly for so long
What saddens me...is that people today consider this a long read.
So did Twat and Waffle ever answer?
That doesn't preclude being well-spoken, with superior grammar, wit and vocabulary. Much harder without reading, but still achievable.
"Were"? Have you visited lately? No one has informed them that the war is, in fact, over and that the coloreds and women aren't property.
I mean, his choice.
His name was either Kunta Kinte or possibly Robert Paulson. Not sure.
His dictation is better than most today. Also imagine the horror that your wife & girls being raped and you can’t do anything about it.
Kill them with kindness is the tone from what I was reading in the letter.
That she was only worth $2, while him supposedly be worth the wage $25.
Better than most? He references 2 of his daughters being raped. Makes me so angry and sad.
People like that have as little concern for those that help them, as you do for NPC companions
*Struggle. Current tense.
He passed away in 1907, aged 81, and is buried alongside his wife who died six years later. My God, could'nt hear her screaming for 6 yrs?
Best comment I've seen today.
1/2 As a kid i thought the worst thing about slavery was that one human owned another, as i grew up i understood the worst part was that one
No he didn't respond. He had to sell the farm against his debts & died 2 years later. His fam was upset Jourdan didnt come back.
2/2 does not see the other as human at all.
Specifically states that it was dictated, so I'd imagine spoken by the man and transcribed by someone who corrected the grammar
Maybe he found something!
Technically it was $2/week, which still puts her at about 1/3 his wage.
Would like to know more about George Carter.
I read that as Morgan Freeman
Really thought that was Cosby...
Not sure that's entirely correct. Rich folk generally manage to get by, even in calamities. Also maybe they shouldn't have owned humans.
I wonder how many people read the last part
Turded .... wait
What do you mean?
Funny thing, the descendants of the former master are STILL pissed at the guy for not coming back. I'm not even kidding.
I wonder who his descendants are and if he would be proud of them now if he met them.
You... you can't read that?
No, Anderson was forced alittle while afterward to sell the plantation. He died in 1867.
I started to and thought that it seems like a feelgood made-up nonsense so I'd rather save myself some time
Taking the high road. At some point in your life you'll be in complete control and can go low or high, hope you decide to go high.
I'm an agnostic but reading things like that really makes me want to believe that Hell and eternal damnation is real.
You're assuming they did the same job when it sounds like Jourdan actually might have been more of a skilled laborer.
That was the sweetest “fuck you” letter I’ve ever read.
August 28, 1865 To: Jourdon Dearest Jourdon, a simple "no" would have sufficed :( -- P.H. Anderson
I know this is shallow comparatively, but that's how I felt about the relationship depicted in the move "Mudbound" between the young black/
Master got owned.
White veteran, and the bond that they shared from service and seeing war.
This made me chortle loudly! :D
Sounds like he had help from an attorney
Learn to read.
Whoa a front page post that isn't because of it's pictures. Well done.
Yay for Jourdan!
Read me back the last sentence....ok...now please write this...
Every one of you who read this in the stereotypical "southern slave" accent is now an official racist.
The teacher says Grundy has a head for preacher.
Is this real?
For me I love a good read like this with such a high payoff. I’d rather not read 12 paragraphs of shitty writing ending in a dickbutt joke.
Sauce? I would like to read about that
As evidenced by you writing "dictation" instead of "diction".
So here I am in Eastern Canada, reading the whole letter in a romanticised southern accent.
don't pretend you didn't either, pardner
Scrolled to the bottom first to make sure tree fiddy wasn’t making a comeback
"Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire."
I'm gonna say for the most part people who like reading are reading a book right now. They're not the ones on imgur.
Stupid statement. Decent grammar and eloquence can’t sound southern? And you throw around the word “Racist” way too easy. Grow up.
The fuck would one dude have even done to help them not go under
Aye. I'm done with dickbutt.
Good point. Jourdan must’ve had some business intelligence and other qualities to be wanted back and to write in such a manner.
Not actually what was meant. His wage in freedom at the time of writing that letter is $25 a month, and her wage $2 a week.
I think they mean that he got a 6 year break from hearing his wife yell at him until she also passed away
He was most likely illiterate & had the letter dictated. He's obviously a very intelligent man, but unlikely given opportunity for education
It implies that the wife was buried alive, and that she survived like that for six years.
The best revenge is a life well lived. He's free and doing well, his old master's livelihood is failing with the free slave labor gone.
I blame clickbait-style "articles" that end up being shitloads of fluff that end up saying nothing worth the time spent reading it.
It’s just so well made... Like... woah...
People are becoming impatient with reading anything more than a few sentences thanks to growing cynicism that it's just going to be a waste.
I wonder if his master found the book he stole all of that from.
It's a different medium. It's one thing to spend a few hours reading a book. It's another to spend half an hour reading on imgur.
“Why the uppity nig***!” -Col. Anderson probably. Still Jourdan is a cool guy. Either he had some brass balls as a slave and always (1)
(2) was that way, or Ohio was a very special place to let him feel he could speak like that to his old master considering the times.
This isn’t about me and my shortcomings, it’s about other people’s. Stay on topic!
"Fuck you, pay me"
I mean, there's definitely mixed feelings. He mentions missing the house and children. He even said he had wanted to visit at one point.
Unfortunately I'm still pretty sure you can call that better than most.
Don't be an asshole
Ah. Of course
.... To former slave owners and corporate fatcats who employ modern-day slavery tactics? Excuse me if I shed no tears for my rudeness.
Kill em with kindness! Fucker used some major restraint considering what he endured. Jesus.
Please don’t pretend that the rest of world didn’t wear cotton picked by slaves in the South. To do Makes one a twatwaffle once-removed.
Paying people does tend to change your profit margins somewhat
Probably thought that he couldn't fend for himself.
If they were upset, they still did not see him as a person. It is a shame they died without knowing what they had done.
Wtf does this mean?
This man put the 'civil' in civil war.
If it was unclear, I was pointing out the sad reality that their ethics and business sense have not improved. If it was clear, fuck you guy.
Native Daytonian, here. I believe V Winters is the actor Johnathan Winters grandfather. I live down the street from his boyhood home.
I teach high school English and we use it for lessons on voice and tone. The kids love his sass.
He says at the end, P.S. I stole this from a book go find it, great read. He taunts the old "masser" with his education.
OP stated that Jourdan dictated the letter. It was possible that he did not know how to write.
There's a southern accent(lived there half my life, btw) and "slave"accent. I'm worried that you failed reading comprehension.
Correct on both counts. Irrelevant to my comment.
I looked into it, says so on wikipedia so its gotta be true
that was beautiful and salty all in one
No 'local color'... Mr. Jourdon most certainly didn't speak or write this way. I recommend "Bullwhip Days" for a dose of reality.
He slipped in the 'going to Colonel Martin's to kill the Union soldier' to say 'You might know where I live but I know how to get you shot'
Was the address of attorney the dead give away?
It works either way
The colon : is for following a declaration. The semicolon ; is for separating clauses.
based on the letter, he was smart as fuck. probably ran the joint from the ground up.
It's well documented, not fake
I’m very happy this didn’t end with “three fifty”. Amazing response!
Then they still don't view him as a person, with his own agency, ambitions and self interests. It's almost like they feel he owed them
A historian tracked down Col. Anderson's relatives in 2006; apparently they're still pissed Jourdon didn't return to work on the plantation.
I don't trust imgur with anything slavery related
Id like to come back if you can promise not to let the others rape my daughters again.. yeeeahhh Col Sanders can suck it.
The last known living slave died in 1971. I was 6 years old.
So it is written, so it shall be.
I hope his decedents are faring well. Dayton is not the place to be these days.
And to think that there are apologists out there about how how "it wasn't that bad" and this former slave is calling out rapists.
The parties switched at one point after slavery but the party of alt right nazis still likes to blame the democrats for slavery.
This means he's completely forgotten about the ideological shift post 1960's.
He is much more eloquent. I would have said: Fuck you, you whitey son of a bitch, pray I don't come back down and strike upon thee vengeance
A slave kept under heel for 30+ years took the time to write that, you can take the single minute to fucking read it.
Democrats were for slavery. Read your history books. Lincolln (a Republican) freed the slaves.
Shove your tiki torch up your ass.
You know a lot of slaves had valuable trade skills, right? And this person had experience with the shitstain slaveowner's business.
he seems very well educated for a former slave better writing them the work i have done in school.
this isn't kind. you've equated politness with kindness. meanness does not require vulgarity
I don't like the sound of them 'young masters' errr
I would have started the letter with “You gotta be shittin’ me” and ended with “I hope you’re being raped while you watch your house burn.”
Was that in the letter? Sounds like OP said that.
This is america
As with anything, without any sources I have a hard time believing that they wrote this themselves, or had literary understanding of thatlvl
I dunno, I can't help but feel it would've gone more like "Sell him back into slavery for emergency cash injection"
Not to mention he was shot twice.
I stole everything you just read? Why don’t I understand what he is talking about?
He probably had to throw out his first draft. "Dear Sir, lick my liberated ass, signed Jourdon. P.S. Your wife still miss me?"
I can only imagine how long it took to dictate. It's REALLY hard to formulate such eloquent and concise sentences on the fly. Smart dude.
Thank you for adding a movie to my list of stuff I gotta see.
Kinda like 12 Years a Slave and his first master, which was apparently a good man to work for but not nearly as good as freedom with family.
I quote: "From your old servant, Jourdon Anderson. (P.S. I stole everthing you just read, find the book it's a great read)"
Karma, my friend. It always restores the balance. “They’ll get theirs”, is my motto.
That's not part of the letter.
I’ll take made-up bullshit for $100, Alex.
Lol. A single slave, who hates his former master, it what will save a failing business? Not likely.
Getting downvotes for a legitimate question? Alas Imgur.
he probably had fun writing it too
i only saw one comment on this post asking for a tldr (in the bad comments)
Honestly deserves the CSI Miami treatment.
Yes. Clickbait or comments limited to something absurdly limited like 140 characters, forcing people to think small thoughts. *cough*
It's the internet... people want to cut right to the point. This was worth the read, though.
Thank you good read. Especially growing up in the south we never discussed slavery in depth in school. Ignorance reigns in some places still
$11,680? What would that have been after inflation? He had to know his former master couldn't pay that, and added it to twist the knife.
For perspective, $11,680 in 1864 would be the equivalent of roughly $185,000 in today’s terms.
Yes. And from the syntax of the text, one would be hard pressed to conjure a “slave” accent from it. Anyone who’s read Huck Finn can see (1)
(2) the difference between a southern and a slave accent.
Just looked it up. Seems the total could have been anywhere from $170,000 to $190,000. That's a lotta moolah!
I was reading once about black history, and apparently blacks were masters at throwing shade that sounded like obedience.
The letter failed to mention captain America
Shot at twice. May or may not have been "warning" shots, or misses.
It's a completely different writing style than the letter.
I offered an unpopular opinion based on logic and deduction. I didn’t state it to be a fact, but a likely scenario. Prove me wrong.
I offered an unpopular opinion based on logic and deduction. I didn’t state it to be a fact, but a likely scenario. Prove me wrong.
Not a lot of meat in that sauce, but it mentions a historian who specifically sought out the descendants.
A civil war is where you shoot someone, but never forget to apologise.
That makes more sense, but does not explain how his master was even able to find him. No telephones, no address books, a man without a name.
Yeah, "if you come knocking your boots are gonna be a-knocking five feet off the ground." Col. Sanders had to be quite the twat for that one
Back date those withheld wages for say, 10 more generations just to be fair.
And light it first.
Read this in English 10
It's so well crafted it went the 19th century equivalent of super viral, being reprinted & widely circulated at the time
Just enough passive aggressive
I was gonna say the same, especially since reading and writing for a slave was a serious offense. - comment below makes sense
Have you had enough water today? You took a tongue-in-cheek joke and gave yourself a reason to be offended.
Imgur is 84% white and has some of the strongest circlejerks around..
Then why is it signed by the guy that was the slave?
Some benefits remain to some degree. The agriculture industry isn’t required to pay time and a half for hrs over 40.
Exactly different because Jourdon admits he stole the body of the letter from someone else .
Well, isn't that such a pity?
OP, settle a difference of opinion, is the end of the letter your PS, or the PS of Jourdon Anderson ?
More then a third of this country is taught in school that the civil war was not about slavery. It was entirely about slavery. Kill the lie
Freeing and not returning them to their homeland was the biggest mistake we ever made
Prove your wild guess based on the assumption that all slaves were unintelligent, interchangeable, low-value, and skill-less is wrong?
If his former owner didn't think he'd be of use, then why did he ask him to work for him again?
There was a thing about the government taking the southern land and allocating it to the former slaves that worked their as restitution.
The interest alone on that would make most southern blacks millionaires. But it will never happen.
I'm not assuming anything, I just made a joke based on the wage ratio
You are correct. But sometimes the point of a joke is taking things the wrong way to make it work.
Kind of what @mydrah wrote
That’s one well educated man. Thought there weren’t any schools for slaves.
Mandy had not the luxury of an education.
Those Martins were asses and also that line is to blame for the trail of tears, despite being half Cherokee
Probably. There might be a ton of explanations. I decided to ignore all of them just to have fun tho ;O)
A burn worthy of General Sherman himself.
I read this last semester in my Historiography class. Just as good the second time around. Fucking burn. Lol.
Thats exactly what I was thinking
ESL guy here whose weakest subject was English, can someone explain what he means? My initial thoughts are that he's calling them ugly.
Got it backwards there, sport. Offer evidence to support your claim or you might as well say an alien zombie from Jupiter wrote it.
There are some people in this world that have no right or reason to be so unexpectedly classy and incredible.
A man of more class & self respect.
He's alluding to the fact that two women were raped and he's worried his daughters would be by "young masters"
He’s insinuating they were raped by their masters, which is a fate he’d rather die than subject his children to
a classy gentleman.
Most, if not all people would learn a thing by writing arguments this way. Me included.
It's definitely from OP.
Probably restrained himself through necessity. If he said anything blatantly untoward about white ppl @ that time, he would've been killed.
I have offered evidence. But it seems you want to ride popular opinion train. Go look up slave literacy rates, as well as laws prohibiting.
Slave education. Whites feared educated slaves will rebel and demand rights. It took African Americans many generation to recover 2/2
That’s your own insecurities speaking, I said nothing of the kind. However if you look up slabs literacy rates and laws prohibiting slave1/2
Education in the south, this letter screams a fabrication, a popular story to celebrate a victory.
maybe, but then we're back to your original question. i doubt that would be enough.
Witty as you are, you must understand that we don’t need to rely on my knowledge, look up the literacy and education rates to make it clear.
incidentally, here's a vaguely related story. my great grandfather was a landowner in pre-communist russia. he wasn't exactly rich /1
/2 but had two cows and a smallish plot of land he used for farming. commies showed up after the revolution, dragged him out /
/3 put him in a cell, beat the shit out of him for days doing some permanent damage he eventually died from, but not before they /
/4 realized they couldn't run his farm or any of the other farms they took over, because they didn't know how. so they freed him and /
/5 made him manager of the "kolhoz (forcibly, of course)
/6 my point is, land management and farming is a tough job. if you've never done it and suddenly have to, you'll find yourself in deep water
Call me crazy, but I think that might have been the slightest bit sarcastic.
Probably told to someone more literate
Omg sooo many typos !!! Y’all wouldn’t think I knew how to read or write !!!! I’ll see my self out :/
I'm waiting on OP's response to settle the difference of opinions on the issue of who's PS it is.
That is correct, search of shows the original, just google "Letter from a slave to his former master"
The most passive of aggression.
I like how you're changing it from "it's too eloquent for a slave" to "slaves had low literacy rates". Probably because the first 1/-
Is born of the same racist ideology that allowed slavery hundreds of years of post-slavery institutional oppression and the second 2/-
Has a basis in fact. So congrats on your "logic and deduction" being the same as your average KKK member.
I love this. Gotta love when the good guy comes out on top.
It's almost as if the slave economy was a completely fucked up system from both a moral and economic perspective.
Are you an idiot? You do realize that being able to write, and being a good writer is not the same thing? A fair amount of slaves were (1/5)
Literate, but language is like art, it takes practice and studying, imitation, reading books. Not something a slave has access to (2/5)
Not because he is less of a human, but because of the opportunities he was dealt. So that’s why it’s unusual for a slave to be eloquent 3/5
But that’s only half of my argument, the other half was that in 19 century there was no means to find a former slave, no records, phones 4/5
So yes I find it very unlikely that a former master found this mans address wrote a letter begging him to come back considering 5/6
That the letter describes crimes, rape of his daughters, and considerable malice done to the man, and at the time the man was 60 years old.
I have trouble taking your argument seriously when basic arithmetic and reading comprehension are beyond you.
My "insecurities"? You... think I'm an illiterate, pre-Civil War slave?
You have trouble with my argument because of your below average intellect and lack of points to support your side beside calling me racist
Yep, cynicism is definitely a huge contributor to this attitude.
Why try when you're doing an admirable job of failing to understand 19th America, not bothering to fact check and being unable to do math?
Just because someone can't write, doesn't mean they can't speak. The OP said in the intro that it was dictated.
That was the OP. He forgot to put a paragraph space.
And yet still you offered no facts to support your side, let me help you. How did slavemaster find his former slave after years and war.
Since you persist, sir, I shall humor you. Do you mind a message, it'll be much easier than talking in 140 character chunks.
Yeah, I found the orginial letter by Jourdon Anderson, no PS.
OP says at the beginning that the letter was dictated, as this gentleman may not have been able to read or write. 1/2
He also listed the source book near the top of the post. His “P.S.” was really out of place.
But slavery was “over” then (ha!)
Oh lol thank you for clarifying that.
Desperate people don't usually think things through that far. Source: Am a poor, have come close to being that desperate sometimes.
The most insidious thing about slavery is the fact that people actually thought they were doing black people a favor by enslaving them.
Yeah, although some might say SLAVERY was the bigger mistake. America WAS their homeland. No where to return to.
Entirely too cheap a price.
Yeah I know, I found the original letter, no PS.
Desperate enough to trick a dude into being sold into slavery? (I know that’s not what you meant, but couldn’t resist).
Except we can clearly see from the way they behave given the same freedoms as others that they cannot function with their liberties. It is
Safer for everyone and more humane to let them live in a place where they can commit the things they do often in a place where only their
Kind of people is affected.
LOL, you are completely clueless about American and World history, as well as life in general, apparently.
Not an argument. Let me know if you would like to discuss this after you put your emotions away honey
I think you misread a plain statement as emotions. Not surprising.
then you have moronic stupid af kanye west saying slavery was a choice...smh
I might be retarded.
I can, but choose not to. Cry me a river lol