|About||1 week ago|
So many people need to realize this.
Make no compromises. Problem solved.
Took me a long time to get this.
Because as we all know, altering your own personality is very easy.
If you're in a good relationship you should both feel lucky to be with the other person.
Only you can control how you behave.
The key bit there is "keep getting". Like, sure, you can have bad luck, or misread the signs, once or twice...but enough to complain about?
Actions are in a lot of cases not decided by ones personality. Personality has nothing to do with OP's statement really. OFC personality
"ugh, why do women always turn into crazy bitches when I talk to them", was the funniest, least self-aware statement I saw someone make.
affects it too, but the things you do are more visible, when one doesn't know you.
even good relationships have serious bumps. mostly i think ppl arent willing to pay the price of being in a relationship, so they stay alone
The best is when they stay in thise relationships for years. Than complain. As if theyre chained to that person
Yep. Maybe after so many failed relationships you should step back and decipher the common denominator in those broken relationships.
Yes. Every relationship has challenges, and sometimes we need to let go of our pride and consider that maybe we’re doing something wrong.1/2
With my own relationship, I had a serious drinking problem and my BF had enough respect for himself to say that he wasn’t going to live 2/?
with a drunk the rest of his life. I was damaging our relationship, so I made a change in my behavior. He was more important than alcohol3/3
Simple solution to this is to avoid humans all together works out best
Absolutely love the mrs, challenges me constantly and always put out...
I have zero confidence in myself, every woman I've ever had feelings for has never returned them so I settle. It's my own fault.
So what happens when one doesn't attract any type of person? Can science explain that?
Agreed. Be the person your ideal mate would want to be with.
Maybe you are attracted to jerks and keep on getting into relationships with them.
I have the opposite problem. Nice ladies keep getting in relationships with me, a terrible asshole.
I can dig it.
What you allow is what will continue.
Those people need to pick from a different pool of people
My actions attract abusers
Noo. I refuse to accept such short and simple answer! There must be more to it!
or lack of actions
Meh, it's a lot more than that
Relationships in high school were political almost. After that it was more authentic.
Psychological patterns are very hard to identify, doesn't get easier when you add your hopes, needs and life lies to the mix.
I don't control anything. It's much easier to just let everything I do slowly burn around me.
It's def not always your fault, there are for instance good reasons why prev abuse victims have a tendency to end up with abusers again.
Definitely! It makes a huge difference once you do recognize it. I have terrible taste in men. Now I'm aware of it &try to avoid potential
Situations I know will pull me back into that pattern. It's not fool proof but it certainly helps
Much easier than changing others. That’s impossible.
You need to think more creatively and less ethically.
Or you know don't have one. Most people are entitled cunts anyway or damaged losers with so much baggage to sort through its crazy
Or you know taken because who doesn't pick the best looking apple in the bunch first
Joke on you, I attract no one
Desperate single mothers in their 30s who've made the rounds with every douchebag in town? Yeah, that tracks.
I don't. I'm ok.
I have found a great companion! We match in so many ways!
Crazy asshole are often fantastic in bed
It's not easy. That's why there are so few happy relationships. It's hard, but worth the effort.
You're absolutely right, but it's not all luck. Realizing what you have and valuing it makes it worth working for and making it last.
Yeah, lucky isn't the best word. "Blessed" "thankful" "appreciative" etc.etc.etc.
Part of growing up is learning how to behalf and create habits. Making excuses only really affects you, so either do it or don't.
I must have no personality, because I don't attract anyone!
I what kind of actions did I take to attract my gym teacher in grade 8?
That's where you have me wrong... I'm not attracting anyone at all... Ha ha ha ha ha ha... Cries vehemently... ha ha ha ha ha ha... Ha ha ha
Or maybe people change and don't always show their true selves.
What if your high school gf has been with you since and it’s been 6 years?
I have a weird balance of "I do not feel complete w/o you and I am clearly the lesser of the two" and "I'm amazing omg you got such a catch"
That’s not a relationship. That’s called being abused and raped
Then that falls under "almost"
Good relationship takes effort from both people. Luck has nothing to do with it.
Is it me? Its me, isn't it?
You telling me that I’m a shitty person!!.... coz I already knew that
Easy? No. Worth it? Yes. Ask anyone who's done it.
My solution is to spend all my money on liquor so I'm too poor to date
Like when I used to care and help others in need. Now I’m an asshole and damaged people keep a wide berth. Works great!
Super sketchy advice: Get tinder, be super picky, but be yourself. Be anxious and not-cute-nerdy if thats how you are. And expect nothing.
You see so many posts complaining about a partner from folks in relationships... you can't help but feel sorry for the partner being trashed
I attract crazy. Real nice at first. Parties a little. Loves having great sex with me. Then suddenly crazy as shit psycho bitch. 1/2
Hmm...I've always wondered, why they turn out crazy?! Or am I turning them crazy?!
There is, you're also in denial.
Since I'm told to not stick my dick in crazy, I quit dating and live by myself now.
Seriously though, things like not putting yourself out there enough is probably why.
I have a friend that finds these nice and pretty girls, but after 3 months or so they turn out to be totally whacked.
and that is no one for me yay
That exact reasoning is why I'm done looking for relationships. I'm the reason I can't find anyone. I can only blame myself.
I have a GF of 11 years. I feel extremely lucky to have her. Only thing I miss is sex with other people.
Why dont i attract anyone?
But I can't know what to fix if no one explains :'(
Calm down Satan.
What if I don’t
I attract no one lel
People who want attention, work and money? Yeah, I know.
thats a rather broad generalization...
Also you CREATE relationships. TALK about this crap, make your own rules and goals. Do not just blindly follow what you guess is standard.
Blind spots do exist.
The common denominator is that the human race is inherently shit.
I do. She's a little older, and has disabilities. I do a lot of the work for both of us, and it's difficult sometimes, yet with all that i
so what kind of person am i if i dont attract anyone?
They all agreed to date me... Wait... I'm the common denominator!!!
still feel amazingly lucky to have such a wonderful relationship. Most people don't get to have that.
I feel the whole 'sidehoe/nigga', tinder,and shallow hook-up culture don't help. You cant build a happy relationship on physical side alone
My friends wife didnt seem bad until they got married. Then she slowly began to get crueler and more domineering
Hmm... Have you eaten a sundae recently?
That's absolutely correct. We get into relationships with people that resemble the dominant relationships in our lives. For two reasons: 1)
I feel the same way when people discuss how their friends always betray them and let them down. Maybe they’re the bad friend
I mean, taking risks with your heart, investing time and effort and opening up to people is harder than swiping right and cheating...
When a person keeps complaining about how shitty the people they date are, I start thinking that maybe they're the shitty person.
Taylor Swift should write a song about this titled “Maybe I’m The Problem”.
because they are familiar and therefore safe - we know what to expect. 2) We are trying to resolve the issues we had with someone else...
Not since I was twelve. Why so you ask?
Best relationship advice I've gotten: If you smell dog shit everywhere you go, it may be time to check the bottom of your own shoes.
TOPNEWS! Researcher found out people are responsible for their own behaviour!
You always know more about what you do want based on finding out what you don't want.
Great way to get depression when it happens multiple times but ts not actually your fault and you're extremely unlucky
My rule's always been to ask people that repeatedly complain to me about their relationships "What's the one constant in all of them?"
by trying to fix a relationship that resembles it. You have to break that pattern and open yourself to the possibility that there are...
Do you always do what you're told?
other types of people in the world. People that are loving, kind, and considerate. And not abusive.
There is one common denominator in all your failed relationships. You.
I was partially joking, but since you asked I'll answer. Only if I respect it as good advice.
I put milkshakes in my yard. Know what I get? ALL THE BOYS
This is one thing I don’t have to worry about since I don’t attract anyone.
Abusers are generally good at making people think things are their fault or making them feel cared for then making them dependent
I feel lucky that she has me! I'm fxcking awesome!
Self esteem issues are a killer here. Thought i was both too good, and not good enough for my ex
*You attract a certain type of person with your own attitude.
OH MY GOD THAT'S WHAT KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME, except I normally ruin it by the third date...
Have her role play with costumes.
Remember, the one constant in all your failed relationships is you.
that's not at all what this is about.
I feel like this should be in a hard to swallow pill meme
might work for people living in a big city. im in a small town in Kansas, i waited 2 weeks and only swiped 40ish people and im out of people
Now this is a religion I can get behind...
I know this can be nuanced, but the trend of blaming people for being vulnerable instead of blaming aholes for taking advantage must stop.
Yeah people keep trying to change me. I'm poly, just break my heart and move on already
You callin' me a nobody?!
Enough to complain about? You don’t think people have reason to complain if it’s one?
I feel a lot of people are in relationships simply because they dont want to be alone, & see a bad relationship as better than being single
Or you are attracted to a certain type of person b/c of THEIR actions/Inactions. Stay w/Abusive guy b/c you think you can fix your father.
after 3 bad relationships and breaking off a 4th before it started, I said screw it to dating and haven't had a date in 7 years.
TBH, finding someone who isn't perfect but still willing to work with you is still a lot of luck...
Date your best friend. Serioisly, just make a best friend & marry the shit out of them. 70% of the time it works every time!
yeah I attack the kinda crazy that tells me if I say her name again she's callin the cops, thank god I never dated her.
Could you... y'know... not be an asshole?
It seems like so many people complain of being in wretched, sexless marriages, that you have to wonder why they bother.
Sure but you'd think after the third side swipe they'd adjust their mirrors.
I dunno what you’re talking about, I’m perfect
Speaking for myself...when I find myself enmeshed with the wrong person, it’s never b/c she “trapped” me.It was b/c I ignored warning signs.
If the only thing your relationship has is partying & 'great sex' it's bound to burn out
Found out too late I’m a “Nice Guy.” It explained all the damaged girlfriends, and why they all ended up hating me.
As a magnet for crazy you are right. But it's their fault for being crazy.
One other thing; “finding” the right person is not a foregone conclusion. You may have to accept a “less than”alternative...b/c you are too?
I’ve been in a loving relationship for 11 years, yet I feel my actions drive ppl away. Maybe we r both terrible?
Thank you for saying this. I have a caring, nurturing personality and somehow I keep getting burned even when I think I'm being cautious
You just have to learn the difference between a nice guy and a good man. Just like we need to do the same for women. We get fooled too.
Joke's on you, I stay home and play videogames all day and I don't attract any type of person.
I wish my ex addict had found me worth it. Good on you for choosing love.
That's me too and I feel ashamed to feel shame to admit that.
I'm here, but I don't know where to stand.
I guess? The joke is on me then. I dont attract anyone
^this. It's worth trying to embody.
Man, that’s a hard puffin to swallow.
Is this why I attract nobody
It was the first time in my life that I genuinely feared losing something important to me. It was a hard wake up call that I needed.
Not exactly, some people seem cool and then turn out to be crazy when you're more familiar
^this. You want a nice girl, get out of the party scene. Get a hobby. Go rock climbing or something.
what people are whining about I've been in a relationship going on 9 years its not hard just Treat her good, Dont lie and Dont Cheat Simple
Sometimes good people attract manipulative, possesive and narcisstic people who want to control them. Good use of the meme
My saying! If you say your ex was an asshole/crazy once, I believe you. Three times and you are either immature or have bad taste.
A tiger cannot change his stripes. Also, so there's no confusion, I'm not the guy who made the comment.
Alright, imgur relationship expert.
This should be in that scroll of truth meme... NYEEHH
It's the old "if you run into an asshole in the morning you met an asshole. Run into them all day, you're the asshole."
Not when your significant other is a two-faced individual, and changes to their true personality after the relationship is well established.
Have you tried? A relationship doesnt fall from the heavens. Mabey youre a bit of a jerk? Are you boring? Selfish in bed?
You're a good person. The way my brain works, I'd be constantly re-assessing if I was being taken advantage of or not.
"I thought you were different than other men." "Oh I am. I am much worse"
I'm definitely the common denominator in those situations. It can't always be someone else's fault.
I occasionally do, but i talk it out when i feel that way to make sure we're on the same page.
Or they are enablers and only find selfish people... just sayin
A person who doesnt want it? Its like youre complaining about not having groceries but you havent gone to the store yet.
"Why does x happen consistently when I y" Lol
Sounds like a chance for another relationship
Also, you accept the love/treatment you feel you deserve.
I'd be constantly re-assessing the conversation we'd have over anything that important. Giving yourself openly makes you a legend, though.
Or mabey your so bad at relationships that you drive em crazy.
Narcissists tend to target empaths, and empaths tend to think they can fix narccisists. It's a recipe for emotional abuse
I guess my actions must say "Fuck off" because I don't attract people.
Because your desire to take care of people causes you to see only people who need to be taken care of, who then make you feel you get 1
back less than you put into the relationship. But you equate love with nurturing and don't know how else to have a relationship, so you 2
Yes. All humans are shit and should be killed and the human race made extinct, yet here you are, typing away. Hope you get help mate.
repeat the same pattern over and over again. 3/3
Yes, but the first step is to be aware of it. Not just start thinking every ____ (gender) is an asshole.
This is good lawyer logic. You were murdered b/c you appeal to murderers.
Invisible fucking people, in my case.
Holy shit... This is me 100% should I NOT feel this way?
I might've fucked something good up, by not hugging her at work.
I attract no one, at least not romantically. What does that indicate?
I should send this to my ex.... wait...
It's not that you should not feel that way, its just that is the only way you have learned to feel. 1
I'm a therapist and this interpersonal stuff is my fave. 2/2
Yeah, there's a balance required. People are hard man :c
I feel this :(
*and also congratulations. I know how it feels
I'm an asshole. I'm with an asshole. We argue sometimes but we never let it last until the next day. Assholes can find a good asshole.
going through a separation/divorce right now. still love and care for each other, but we just can't seem to sync up.
Cool. So basically everything is actually my fault moving forward.
What is the common denominator here? That's right; your friend. Maybe some introspection is due here?
I attract crazy women. Or I go looking for them.
What if someone pretends they are something they are not?
I am actioning, but getting no results
"I put in my Nice Guy tokens and didn't get my le sexy times, what do you mean people don't like being treated like vending machines" -imgur
I'm sorry did you read a different post? No one is talking about rape here
What do you mean by empath? I think I may have been in this type of situation.
Has he tried actually dating normal women instead of going for looks?
You don’t have to stay
Does that make me a no one? Do I even exist?
Self analysis will buffer that. We are what we know and the unknown is a fearful affair.
They didn't say abuse victims though, they said people complaining about shitty relationships. Chances are that they're equally shitty.
I don't think it is!!! I don't deal, cook, or possess Methamphetamine's and yet toothless Mary and shotgun face Jennifer won't leave me be.
I am glad to know I attract no one.
Explains why I'm alone.
Heh, "attract". Good one.
The Like Switch is a good book. There. I said it!
Last GF wouldn't text back for 8 to 12 hours and we never saw each other during the week*. Current GF is amazing and so much more fun.
My half sister has been in 3 relationship that have all been shitty. It does seem to me that she has a habit of picking assholes.
That's why I threw mine out...the instant stress relief and void of nagging and drama was well worth the divorce!
*Last GF was a teacher and didn't seem to attempt to make time for me.
I have to do something until Trump and Kim kick off ww3.
Basically ones who care about others a lot; to simplify.
I'm making my current flame feel cared for, but that's cuz I really care for her
Relationships are only terrible when you’re with the wrong person. At least that’s my experience.
Did you tell old gf it was not cool ?
That's quite an arrogant assumption you're making. Relationships tend to be complicated, you can't explain them on a surface level like that
Your sarcasm doesn't help them. If you want someone to get help, be straightforward but civil.
Joke's on you I'm attracted to no one
You gotta reflect on how you do things. Be more self conscious. Sure, people can direct you, but how you see yourself is ultimately the end.
You gotta know yourself and try not to let other people define you. Some people are both, some people let others define them, some know ..
Where were you guys 10 years ago when I was still trying to figure out why I kept ending up with assholes.
I wish I had a relationship to complain about.
..themselves. it's just all about how you think of yourself in the end. It's quite inevitable to be both, actually. But the point is ..
..to know and love yourself because you have to deal with yourself your whole life. And confidence in oneself is attractive to others.
Just not with your face...
Also good luck doing this because it's one of the hardest things to do. Just take it one step at a time and be patient with yourself.
Also never take relationship advice from people who only have a long series of failed relationships on their record.
Um... can you unpack that a little bit for me? Cuz I can see it turning into some niceguy "sluts deserve assholes" logic REAL FUCKIN quick.
Yeah I told her multiple times how I felt. Seemed to not work because sometimes there'd be multiple weeks where we didn't see each other.
My **bf always said I was too good for him and I'd reassure him. Found out 5 years later he was right. **ex ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I rly hope my bf feels lucky to be with me. I certainly am the luckiest woman in this country at least.
Wake up, Brian!
And here I am lonely as fuck forever and I wouldnt mind a relationship to complain about, Id even stick my dick in crazy, don't care anymore
Some people don't always make the best decisions, and some people take advantage of that. No need to eb condescending about it.
Of course I haven't tried. Also I am indeed a jerk however I sure as hell am not boring.
It sounds like a) you're an ass, b) your measure of what is a "crazy as shit psycho bitch" is off or c) the red flags are attractive to you.
All romantic relationships have issues, but if the individuals have big issues or even a little selfishness the relationships will suck.
Sometimes people change, too.
Very interesting piece of advice I read is that if you or someone you know is always saying "all your exes are horrible" then >>
Learn your value. Or grow to value yourself. But sometimes it's just stupid bad/good luck
you may need to think more carefully on the common thread (you/someone you know). 2/2
This is true! I married Bridget Jone's evil twin after making myself into Hugh Grant.
I get attracted to women easily but I don't really wanna fuck em bad enough to actually do it. I might have become asexual
It's hard. Therapy helps.
Or you choose the wrong person because you like conflict or don't feel you should be happy?
Been there, done that. Same with my fiance. Now we both walk on eggshells when the floor is concrete.
It's wonderful to actually be able to trust and confide in someone.
So am I the only one who would rather be in a relationship?
Not sure how being a kind and generous person warrants getting mentally and physically abusive douchebags, but okay.
Someone who is able to (and often unwillingly so) take on the emotional burdens of others
I never had one cuz I ain't no little bitch lol
as heartwarming as that story is, your post here would indicate that it's your bf's fault for choosing you in the first place.
Do you give and give and give? Do you sacrifice a lot in order to make someone else happy, even if they don’t reciprocate? Being kind (1/?)
Yeah after a certain point you have to realize you might be the problem. I remember finding that out the hard way.
and generous doesn’t equal a healthy relationship. I’ve been there. I’ve given all the money and love I had to someone and they shit all(2/?
I've had sex with 100 women and EVERY ONE of them has been a HORRIBLE lay,...hey, wait a minute?
over it. I didn’t look out for myself and thought I could pour myself into an relationship that wasn’t giving me anything in return. (3/?)
Heh, that's cute.
I thought that giving money and alcohol and love to this person would get them to love me just as much. In the end, it hurt so much more4/4
No, alcohol was my choice. I started drinking and he said he would leave because that wasn’t the person I was when we started dating. (1/?)
He made the right choice because I respect him enough and our relationship to reflect on what I did wrong and choose to change this (2/?)
I can't give you an upvote when your comment mentions luck and you have 777 upvotes with a 777 in your name.
Problem I let myself develop. Problems in relationships happen. We all have a choice in how to deal with it. I value him more than alcohol
relationship? That never came to my harbor.
1, 6 year relationship put me off them for good until I find some one that flat out changes my mind, if I don't oh well..
I keep attracting a certain type of absolutely nobody with my own actions.
What are you calling "too late"? You may not be able to go back to those relationships, but you are now aware enough to build new ones.
What if I attract no one?
Hey! Me too! :)
1) There's a huge difference between finding someone who's perfect and finding someone who's perfect for you. The latter is both compatible
If you get in a fight with one person it could be their fault. If you get in a fight two times it could still be them. If its 15 its you
Divorce law is a hell of a drug.
yes! and if the other does something you dont like dont just be passive aggressive and complain online...
2) with your interests/morals and understands that when problems happen, it's always "y'all vs. the problem", not "y'all vs. each other".
And that is A-OK.
I would rather be in a GOOD relationship.
Relationships are too much work.
He protec, he attac, but he no attract.
Just means you've never been in a bad one. ;)
Right, good point
There's a difference between "blaming" and "making aware of trends so they can be fixed".
Never said it was what I wanted. Also it was partially a joke.
Spoken like someone truly single
alot of ppl keep going for the same thing out of habit. they get shocked when someone decent actually comes along
Im in a great relationship but i think people put to much pressure on each other. Its really not that hard to manage a releationship.
Well, as I said multiple times, it was partially a joke. The comments were supposed to be sarcastic dark humor.
Joke's on you; I've had a crush on you for four months! ...So do you wanna get a coffee, or...?
My mom used to say "when it feels like the whole world's against you... maybe it's you"
cool! good for both of you!!
For some reason that sounds sarcastic to me, it isn't meant that way though
Not changing their process of considering others probably?
True, although they may ignore warning signs too much.
I wonder what people who start issues over high school stuff after it ends have going on in their heads.
Yep, can identify
Oooh this belongs on a pill hard to swallow meme.
I just realized, I've never been in a good relationship
You see, I am perpetually faultless. Anything I ever find disappointing is someone else's shortcoming. Thanks for understanding.
This post should also be a pill hard to swallow meme.
I think we agree? I’m not sure why you posted this...but...I’d be careful with the concept of “perfect” if I were you.
Absolutely, which is why I said it can be nuanced.
Any time someone says "he's lucky to have you", my reply is "I'm the lucky one".
That's the point. To be confident in yourself and humbled all at the same time.
I've had my fair share of emotional abuses & ok to good relationships. Emotional abuse in childhood means I'm still learning what a good 1/?
That is true too. You have to figure out that anecdotal balance for each relationship.
What about now ;)
relationship looks like. A few months ago I met someone. I can talk to him about anything. It feels like I finally get how it should be 2/?
Get a different hobby?
Or you can give up.
Its about balance. Talking with each other without getting angry is key. So many people get mad over dumb shit.
I'm mostly attracted to tacos. We have a good relationship.
We're best friends first and it makes everything else better... Hope I can do the second part you said and marry the shit out of this one!!
I just read an abundance of Katherines
*high five* So happy you found someone who makes you feel so great! *hugs*
What if relationships sound terrible to me, just on their own merits, not due to previous problems?
THIS. Seriously, isn't this the point of the post? Just because you're the common factor doesn't mean you're a bad person.
If your will is strong enough, your body will rise as a Nobody.
Likewise. I'm starting to worry I don't feel attracted to other people anymore either.
It is. You're the reason my relationships fail. And all the girls had the nerve to say it was actually me.
I feel ya bra.
Hopefully it doesn't turn out like mine did
After two decades of marriage I still don't understand that idea. My relationship has always removed difficulty, never created more.
Treat your partner how you'd like them to treat you
You attract your own level of pathology
Don't forget the Alt-fact thinkers out there.
We're both so affirmed in our relationship that normally someone would get jealous if you have a friend of the opposite sex but us we're 1/2
Not if they deliberately misrepresented themselves of who they really r in the beginning.
like "I don't care. They ain't a threat. Plus they're cool :P" its not like an "abusive" sense I promise 2/2
My wife was a totally different person until 1yr in marriage and it seemed she couldnt keep her fake self up any longer.
When you're wearing rose-tinted glasses red flags just look like flags.
Thank you. A lot of it is luck though. I found a person who i am comfortable enough with to trust in a relationship like this. Before i met
her i would have said the same thing. She deserves a lot of the credit i guess. We work together.
No, worse than that, they're capable of doing better than that, but they choose NOT to.
I feel incredibly lucky to have found someone willing to work with me. So there's some luck to it.
The ones who need to do it won't.
Now that you know you're one, you can stop being one.
You do you, man.
also being in different situations changes it also.
Suggestion: Ken Keyes self-help books. Become more self-aware.
Its not that she doesnt get her freak on, its my male mind constantly wanting to bang other women and its exhausting at times.
you're a therapist and your name is "AnythingIsADildoIfYoureBraveEnough"
1. How can a relationship itself remove difficulty? My guess is when you're going through tough times, your other half is helping you by
2. Talking with you about it, giving advice, opinion etc. Or helping you remove those problems. And that is the effort you put in to it.
3. If you or the other person would suddenly stop doing it, you'd notice how you would start loosing feelings to him/her or the other way
I attract stalkers...Welp.
TIL I attract rapists and emotional manipulators
Or they didn’t learn from their previous examples or built a better sense of judge of character
Ahh, the "I just want to date a nice guy, not an asshole" paradox.
Then if I attract no one, then I must not exist!
For me that type of person is invisible
What actions will attract me the kind of person that I'm attracted to?
Humans have been around a long long time yet we still can barely keep from blowing up the planet. I don't think there's a better here.
It’s true. The common denominator of all my failed relationships is me... I keep choosing ‘winners’ so I must be a ‘winner’ haha ... oh
is it possible to use some tactics abusers use that makes someone feel cared for and dependent, but then proceed to make them happy?
From another ace guy, own it. Life can be a lot easier when you don't give a fuck [in both contexts]
Does asexual mean you never have sex or that it’s not on your priority list? Please feel free to politely decline to answer. :)
sounds like you're blaming it all on them, how does that make you any different?
(I have a non-binary teenager who I am trying to understand.)
Asexuality is when you have no inclination towards sexual activity. It's different than abstinence because that's a choice, whereas being >
My sadness will outlast the universe's heat death.
> ace is not. Also, some asexuals are aromantic (don't form romantic attractions) but many are not as well. Personally, I'm a big sappy dork
I feel like if you're in an abusive relationship, that would class as pretty damn shitty
He just prozac
To clarify, someone like me would be hetero-romantic asexual, but I would never tell people that 'cause it sounds a little pompous honestly.
No. The crazy comes out on its own. I just give them a safe space to cultivate the crazy and let their freak flag fly.
Hope that helps. If you have any more questions feel free to ask!
or you have no self confidence and are a victim of prowlers exploiting you, but fuck that person who not knowing better right?
So I attract liars, hoes and snakes by being kind, gentle and understanding? Fuck that I'd rather kms
Dang that sounds like a bad relationship. Glad you're happy now
Highschool gf was with me for 5 years. Well after highschool. She ended up fucking my best friend. Who was with his highschool gf for 6.
Making an analogy that is soaring miles above you
Do you give and give and give? Do you sacrifice a lot in order to make someone else happy, even if they don’t reciprocate? Being kind (1/?)
and understanding doesn’t necessarily equal a healthy relationship if it’s one-sided. I’ve been there. I’ve given everything I had to (2/?)
someone who never loved me back. But I wanted their love so badly that I thought I could make them love me just as much as I loved them.3/?
No amount of money or alcohol or whatever will make someone suddenly love you. If they don’t reciprocate, odds are they never will. So, 4/5
know what you will and will not tolerate. Give someone your love, but if they don’t return it, leave. Give your love to ones who deserve it
Just making an analogy. That’s all
It’s quite similar. Try again.
Not true. It takes years to really get to know someone.
This is why I don't date anymore. I'm crap at picking people
Fighting with the fiancé for 3 hours, thinking about the ex. Yup, fuck you for being right.
It's cheesy but i tell my husband every day how lucky i am. He always says something sweeter back. We chose to be better for each
the one relationship i had was great, just wished it lastedlonger
Sadly, you can go further and blame our parents. :(
Thanks for the generic analysis, but I don't think I quite fall into that textbook definition. I dated guys who "had it together" as well.
Well, being an enabler is still the reason/cause, and something they should change?
When I say "enough to complain about", I mean, to complain that it keeps happening.
for me, relationships are terrible because I don't have the total freedom from being single. all my friends now envy me at some point
Oh absolutely! Just please don't jump to the assumption that you're just a douchebag. Shit's bad for your mental health.
oh yeah, my initial comment never meant to suggest the fault was that they were a bad person. Just maybe something to learn and change.
Someone with a single bad partner can complain about that. But if there's enough of a pattern to go "it keeps happening", then introspect.
That’s an entirely subjective point of view. People need to complain as much as they do. If you don’t like it then leave them be.
That's the opposite of a problem.
A-men preach it brother
You're probably correct, but it's still nice to see some of them prefer planting trees over cutting/burning them down, to put it one way.
Cat, Friendly Squirrels, dogs and the odd Raccoon......what does that say about me?
The problem I have, actually, is that I find a lot of the men I attract haven't known me long enough to have any idea what my actions are.
It was fine when we actually saw each other. I just got used to only seeing her on the weekends, sometimes, maybe. New GF is 10x hotter too.
I felt like that once. Then she cheated on me and it destroyed me. Now I'm just angry and bitter
Soon t hi is will say for everyone complaining about the gif sounds... I like the gif sounds
He doesnt actively go for just looks, he actively tries to find geeks that are sort of outdoorsy, but it seems like he needs to reconsider.
It's not a subjective point of view, it's advice. They should introspect, just in case. Learning and self-examination are good things.
Wolf in sheep's clothing
That sucks man. I've had bad relationships in the past and it took me awhile to work through it but it's possible.
Learning and introspective are relative terms. They being good is subjective.
All abusive relationships are shitty but not all shitty relationships are abusive.
Yep. I am starting my PhD this year and will be Dr. AnythingIsADildoIfYoureBraveEnough in a few years.
Obviously not everyone has the exact same exeriences. Why so defensive?
I personally do not, but I can't speak for everyone in that regard ('cause I don't know lol). That said, intimate things like making out >
> still appeal to some, it's basically just that we don't feel the need to "relieve" ourselves physically, if you get my meaning.
I'm not complaining about how bad my relationships are. I complain about how they don't exist...
I'm not, I'm sure you meant well. I'm just pointing out the situation is a lot more nuanced than the way you condensed it.
Seriously. Or just plain bad luck lol
Well I have a moustache. Which I twiddle in a diabolical way.
That’s as sensible as saying a fish out of water will drown, even if a monkey who gets a banana won’t starve...because, a person can choose
Not to (or to) do evil shit, but they can’t choose the number of fingers they’re born with...so...tiger analogy is incorrect at best...
Certainly, it's hard to fit much in so few characters.
Ah well from down here I can see that you're point is unrelated and unnecessary, so maybe get off that high horse you've put youreslf on
It just a turn of phrase. "I am what I am" kind of thing. I don't want to get into a conversation about free will because, in my view, it's
hardly a given. I think plenty of people have no control over themselves even if they superficially appear to have a choice.
Very true, but your original comment implies that abuse victims do not fall under the category of 'complaining about shitty relationships'
While abusive people may not fall under a large portion of those in shitty relationships, I think what DoYouEvenCareAboutPeople said is 1/2
Important for people to know
Fair enough, and my bad about the spelling I can confidently put that down to autocorrect haha
It’s whatever. I only mentioned it to discredit your comment (per usual). too lazy to find a .gif to encapsulate my emotion. Good morning!
I was almost bankrupted by paying for his food and rent. He beat me, cheated on me, mentally abused me and all the while making me think I >
was the one who wasn't worthy of anyone better. All the while telling you constantly that he loved me and would never hurt me. I'm also>
about to go find out if he gave me herpes in 45 minutes. After all that, he simply told me he was going to leave me anyway, now that he >
found his new love. So no, I don't think the individual is to blame for being a decent person. Some people are just bad people.
Yeah, I get the gist of it...just find it an incredibly non-clever way of trying to get the point across...
1) it's an expression, dunno what to tell you about that, 2) it was said in jest. You shouldn't let things like this bother you.
Yep, money, time, emotion. :/