Onto the next one...
2018 has been bad for my love life...
|About||1 month ago|
Maybe her mom said she wasn't allowed
Did you tell her about your pedo van?
Did you drive the PedoVan? Might want to get a rental next time.
Did you tell her, her tits felt like sandbags?
She didn't change her mind. She knew the whole time but was just too chicken to say it while you were there.
Such is life.
She googled you.
Was that a bad idea?
I definitely brought Candy.
Chicks man, they do that kind of shit.
Dude that was my first 3 months after my divorce was signed
Why was candy written with a capital letter?
OP swinging for a three-way.
This has happened to me a few times. All you can really do is continue to try again and again.
Did you buy her food? If so, just wanted a meal ticket.
She likes you « as a friend ».
It has been a tough mating season
Or... She is after a relationship and you had marriage stamped on your forehead and vice versa
Bags of sand. Please
Suck it up buttercup. Onto the next.
Or...now hear me out.... just because she didn't want a second date doesnt automatically make her a shitty person.
Ya but saying you want one then not responding/blocking the person without any warning does.
I wouldn’t say that. You won’t know the reason ever forever. But either way, it wasn’t gonna work so just say fuck it 2 tears in a bucket.
Piece of advice, get rich
Yeaaaaap. Welcome to the club my man
Or maybe it's because his username is true and that's were the date was
Heheyyy, welcome to my life!
My life has been bad for my Love life.
It makes you a shitty person if you cant be adult enough to simply tell the person. Even if through text, at least they know.
Yeah....googling me never helped. I dont give girls a real last name until there is solid rapport
Some people fear reprisal if they say no in person, or even after.
She never "changed" her mind.
I feel ya I just took this girl out for the weekend to a resort and she hasn’t text me back
At least you *have* a love life.
If this is a new experience for you, buckle up, it's going to be a rough ride.
Read Corey Wayne - How to be a 3% man. Literally learned so much about women and understanding the dating and seduction process.
it can be both
Yeah this right here is a bit creepy. You might have other quirks in this ballpark she might have picked up on.
Personally, I've been stalked before so I don't tell anyone my full name.
Relationships are a strange game. Only winning move is not to play.
At least you had a fun date, don't be too upset, I've been ghosted more times than I can count, but I'm still in the dating game haha
I know that feeling dude. Great girl I was texting for a while just stopped one day. I thought everything was going well
She was probably married or had a boyfriend. She is a bitch. No loss
Dude - just look at your username.
Sorry mate been there myself ...I didn’t know till months later she Had a boyfriend and I was the side piece
Any year > 1992 has been a terrible year for my love life, and I'm only 26.
It’s hard not to agree to a second date in person. She should have at least sent you a text saying she wasn’t interested.
She probably didn't feel a connection, or was on the fence but didn't want to be a jerk and hurt your feelings. I dunno.
"Hi, how's it going I'm mormonator...um, mormonator1. Just 1 not 12"
He brought along the actor John Candy
Wait, she blocked him too? Damn.
Dude 1.5 hr dude just jerk off and forget jesus
Man, I'm almost 4 years past my divorce and still have trouble dating. Dating in your 30's is tough.
But that’s a bullet of insecurity and trust issues that I was fortunate enough to dodge ..soldier on the great ones are still out there
It happens. At least you know she isn't worth your time and can move on. Let her fuck with someone else's mind.
"Liz Lemon, mind if I Google myself in your office." -Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock
I have to ask, how is it creepy to not give away your last name?
I can't downvote these pathetic whinestories enough. Boohoo, you got rejected. Fuck off. Stupid penguin
From a quick google search it seems like a bunch of "alpha male" bullshit. For your potential future SOs sake, I hope you disregard it.
Side piece... because she only takes you out when she wants to BANG! ?
i just got back from an 8 hour drive to baltimore visiting a girl thats interested in me, but clearly isnt mentally stable enough for a ship
Yeah pretty much
uh if you don't get that reference you need to be educated.
Sometimes we just don't click both ways with people. Always hurts a little though.
This seems to happen to a lot of people on Imgur.
happens to a lot of people in general.
This... Literally happens to me at least once a month.
Yes, but here people celebrate it. I see at least one post on the front page per day about this.
Yeah dude. Happens all the time.
They are probably not used to dating, if you are blindly fishing through apps and such you gotta get used to getting a lot of no's
Feels my man....feels. Been there, done that. Keep trying!
I'm sure, knowing girls, the whole "I lied about my last name" thing goes over really well. (See: "what else are you lying about?")
Then educate us
Lol I did that to a girl yesterday
What sucks is when she wants a second date, and that goes well too, but then she has doubts on the third and ghosts after the fourth.
How old was she pedo
Did you drive her in your pedo van?
I find this a bit creepy and I have been told I'm creepy. Like what are you hiding the you don't give your real name.
YOU had an amazing time. She obviously found you unattractive, uninteresting or both. People don't ghost people they like
if he doesn't act quick it will be a cold long winter with no chance of survival
Once again, why? Also, no even said anything about alias/fake names. I said why is it creepy to not give your last name? No one has 1/2
Cause you a stalker
Happens to me all the time, except with men. Humans are weird, unpredictable random number generators. All you can do is try again :/
Look on the bright side, at least you can get a date.
It's more of the deception over something trivial. It suggests he's a fucking weirdo with many more quirks.
2/2 any business knowing my last name if I don't want them to.
I think it might've been the distance thing. I drove 50 minutes for a date once. She thought I lived in the same city. Big negative
As a girl I try to find out the last name just for safety- Judiciary Case Search has saved me more than once ????
What deception? Being unwilling to say your last name is deception? How does it suggest such?
Honesty. Also what are you hiding if you won't give your last name. Probably more reasoning as well
Sound logical. Based on own experience?
Bullshit. Being unwilling to give out your last name doesn't make you dishonest. If remaining private is dishonest then by all means 1/2
2/2 I will be dishonest. The whole "you must be hiding something if you don't get rid of your privacy" thing is a BS as fuck argument.
I require education
What? How retarded is that, mate.Of course I want to have a discussion, that's how people reach an understanding.Explain your side or gtfo.
If they're shitty enough to ghost somebody, fuck them!
It's an old Chris Farley SNL bit mixed with the fact that OP is a pedo.
Very similar thing happened to my bf this year, then he met me, now he's my bf.
Look up Chris Farley's SNL skit, van down by the river lol
I’m not sure I’d like to be “educated” if being “educated” is defined by you.
You sure she wasn't already in a relationship?
This is normal in the dating world.
People are fucking shitty and I'm sorry. You still have half a year to go though. And many more after that.
Y’all are funny
Are you me?
Wrong again. I said "how retarded is that", which implies that what you said is retarded. You are the one being immature and fleeing 1/2
Or in my case...he came on too strong while drunk, tried pushing himself on me and chipped my tooth in the process. He thought it went great
Silver lining, good excuse to get drunk
2/2 from the questions that I made you. I asked you to explain your side, which you must do in a discussion where you are making claims.
Yep I just conformed to dying alone in peace
huh? a ship?
You should eat a Snickers. You’re not earegdsgdfhrehsdvsardbrev when you’re hungry
More so the fact he said not a real one. I see not jist blurting out your last name but making one up is startingwith a lie
It’s not that alpha bullshit, doesn’t hurt to read it for yourself. Then see if it is....
You are indeed correct. Going with an alias does raise suspicion.
I told him that night AND the day after that he made me uncomfortable, but a few weeks later he said I ghosted him for no reason *shrug*
It was her turn to drive 1.5hrs away XD
Being ghosted sucks. I'd rather be rejected outright so that I can move on comfortably
There could be countless reasons, maybe she felt intimidated or frightened by him.
Maybe she was frightened of him?
2/ my sister was kidnapped/raped/murdered when i was younger. It has pushed some girls away and/or me into convos i didnt want to have
I hate my last name bc I don't like it being associated with my dad. Therefore only extremely close friends know it.
See my other comments...
Nice, i just did this to a chick on Bumble
Family history and conversation i dont want to have with everyone
At least I have some normality with mine.
For Bird Person.
Assuming you talked about a 2nd date in person, next time don’t. Leave it a mystery if you’re going to ask her out again.
it happens to everyone, even the hottest babes you lust over. to be 'good at dating' dont let this embitter you
3/ all of my social media profiles are also under a different last name. My family has recieved death threats and the press never stops
4/ thanks for the judgment downvotes dipshits, without knowing the story keeping the imgur way real i suppose.
Better than your crush leafing you in for 3 years
Picture of said chipped tooth?
put in more effort in it then me, I'm ugly asf anyways with nothing to show for me life so I don't my station changing
Ghosting somebody is not changing your mind. It's being a coward, so is agreeing to a second date when you dont want one. 1/2
Damn some of these comments are pretty aggressive. She doesn't owe OP shit
You cared enough to gif it.
I've learned to not believe a thing any woman says ever.
Am I invited to the wedding?
She didn't change her mind, she just didn't like you or the date or something else but didn't have the guts to say so in person. 2/2
Yep goes both ways
Op how old was this “girl”?
Humans are actually highly emotionally rational and logical. Just very complex with a wide stimulus response field.
Don't believe "I'd love to do this again" until scheduling texts start. She's not chicken, this is normal dating 101 stuff.
Did you ... you know ... ?
Are you saying that it doesn’t work?
Oh honey, Baltimore should have been your first clue.
Kind of... we’ve been dating for a couple months now and she said this may be too fast and now I haven’t heard from her
Why does this post have so many responses?
Yeah ok as a software engineer, I have a different definition of logic. Humans are unpredictable and hormonal.
Distance wasn’t gonna work either. Trust me on that.
She agreed to another date while still in the first one? I’m willing to bet she feared for her safety if she said “no.”
Scrub “too chicken” and replace with “legitimately feared for her safety”.
Eh, that's dating these days. I've been ghosted, and I've ghosted others. Live with it and move on to the next.
True but I think ghosting probably makes people more angry/emotional. And a lot of people will do if they don’t fear reprisals.
Cant tell the reason here but I think it’s usually because of shitty people instead of out of fear.
I hate getting ghosted after what I thought was a good date :(
Felt bad about it
Agreed. But when you get insulted for simply saying "No thanks", I can understand why some people would skip that step.
Why did you do it? (not judging)
I went out on 3 dates with a guy before I got the guys full name & info. Google saved me. He was on the SOR list He was 28, girl was 14.
Ummm, so I think ghosting has a bit of a different meaning now my dude.
I don't agree with it, but I understand why.
Dating is hard enough and then we got to deal with this! I’m glad you found out!
I'd say not giving it away isnt necessarily creepy, but he just said he lies and gives a false onewhich is and also starts the relationship
With a lie
I understand to not do it in person but if it’s only after one date you can just send a text then block the number if necessary.
Leaving someone waiting/hoping for a reply is a pretty shitty thing to do. Unless there is a serious cause for concern.
OPs username would check out
Jesus mate calm your farm. If somebody wasn't wiling to tell me their last name within a date or 2 that would raise a red flag for me.
I wan't somebody that I can trust and would trust me if they were that defensive and guarded then no thanks.
Once again, why? Justify such
Why can't people be a fucking adult and communicate
Sorry to hear that OP. That was definitely an asshole move for her to pull. Idk why people can’t just discuss things like adults...
See second part of that comment.
This comment is most likely the truth.
She's gonna make some dude miserable. And that dude ain't you.
If they are lame enough to ghost, good riddance !
~why can't men realize we have to put our safety first~
Sorry man, it sucks. That's what dating is like sometime and you have to learn not to tie your self-esteem to a single event. You got this.
Same thing happened to me 6 months ago, sorry :/
But what if they are looking for the same thing? Giving away trust easily doesn't fit everyone
Why would her safety be in jeopardy?
You “met” a beautiful girl and then drove 90 minutes for the date? So when you say you “met” her...?
I'm not saying everything dude but last name is fairly general information. If they don't want to give me their last name within a 1/2
Because your only choices are ugly chicks, or single moms lol
date or two then I'd be worried they weren't that into me as well. Even if we match in every other way trust is a big thing for me. 2/3
I don't think I'm explaining myself to well. I get your side but theres two people in a relationship just because they don't like/do 3/4
Again, agreed, it's shitty. But some people would rather not have to receive abuse and block in the first place and take steps to avoid it.
something doesn't mean I have to be ok with it. I'll sure as heck try and understand it but only if that goes both ways. 4/4
Did you read the full reply?
I do get your side, I'm sounding way more aggressive than I want to. I get your point, I do. I just meant that 1/2
I met a girl, and we mutually ghosted each other after the first date.
2/2 people often have a good reason to keep their privacy shield up. I do agree that maybe more two dates is excessive though.
That sucks. We should beat him up. /s
Well, how else are you gonna do it?
Why the fuck are you driving an hour and a half for a date?
What's the difficulty in saying that they're not interested vs. just ghosting someone? It's called being honest!
Because some men can be aggressive and violent if turned down or feel embarrassed.
Or don’t try to date people that live 1.5 hours from you.
Yeah exactly two sides to the coin and all that. Good Chat. Have a great day dude.
Girls wanna get fuck. if u drive 1.5hr and dont even kiss her. Is ur fault she ghost u
On! On! On to the next one! On and on and on to the next!
Who travels that far for ANYONE? Maybe I'm lazy.
I know the feeling bro...
You gotta lock that down
Yeah...go ahead and have a seat right there. ~Chris Hansen probably
I feel you
Agreeing to another one can mean anything. I say "yes we have to hang out sometime" without meaning it. White lies.
met her in maine a few years ago
Mostly self-depreciation and anxiety. Took me 2 years to start again, and OP hit the nail on the head. That and the good ol' friendzone.
Life is bad for my love life.
and again and again and again and again and again till youre nearly 40, drained and defeated, and get a puppy instead...
You've never been desperate, have you?
That too. I don't mind the single mom thing since I'm a single dad. Get the Brady Bunch thing going.
Sorry your date didn’t work out, but honestly it’s a bad idea for a woman to turn down a guy she doesn’t know for a second date (in person)-
I understand. But if that's a possible scenario, always meet in a public place. Never seclude yourself. Lying is still lying ->
In an alternate reality, 10 years from now your in a heated custody battle with her after a short lived but miserable marriage. Dodged it
Oh me so horny
To the person that isn't violent, that's manipulative and emotionally damaging to them. If you're afraid that a person is going to assault >
Maybe cause you’re a pedo van driver?
@op where you wanna meet?
MANY guys do not take rejection well, especially if they thought the date was good. It usually turns into hounding/being pushy for another -
you. What kind of people are you talking to that you think that might happen?
Date (which is extremely uncomfortable for her) and after that there’s anger when/if she won’t agree. Anger typically means being insulted -
Y’know, the usual (fat, ugly, bitch, cunt, etc) sometimes anger means worse. It can mean physical violence. I’m not saying you’d do this -
I feel ya. It happens. Dating sucks wang.
Next time, don't tell her your imgur username on the first date.
I’m just saying many guys do this (the pressuring and name-calling) and some guys do worse. So the safer option for most women is to avoid -
My friend look around. You are not seeing something the vast majority sees. People don't like to start relationships with lies
Dude - just look at that sandstorm
You dodged a bullet
Or she feared for her safety.
Putting yourself in the situation altogether, cause you just don’t know. That said, she shoulda let you know after the fact via call or text
Maybe try dating her mum first
Yes this isn't a stranger it's a date it literally a courtship to lead to the most intimate personal thing you can do.
Then that's fine join a dating app for shut ins and defense prone people
Hahhahahah. Mate, it is a stranger leading up to one of the most common activities, which is sex.
Who is lying? Not revealing something private isn't lying about it.
You could always Oliver twist him. WHAT? YOU'D LIKE SOME MORE?
Had a chick straight up tell me she was not sexually attracted to me, and just wanted to be friends from now on. I respected the honesty.
Sure thing buddy
Agreed. This screams desperation.
He said he gave a false name
No for sex I don't go on a date I go to a bar or tinder, date is a date
Nah, date can end in sex. Not much different than going to a bar or tinder
Yeah, it's a bunch of fucking mind games and alpha male bullshit. "I was so easy and available, that she saw me as weak." Quote from the
book off of the Amazon preview.
Or maybe she found someone else - she probably gets a bunch of proposals every day - in today’s online world - sorry... @OP
Yup told a guy I wanted to be friends on the date, he got angry. I hate to be ghosted but sometimes their personality necessitates doing if
Ghosting me fucks me up more than just being told no
Fucking cunts. People are so goddamn cowardly. You dodged a bullet
Got ghosted by a really cute boy a while back. He tried to pick back up with it like a year later out of nowhere lol.
People don’t have common decency or manners these days. Much easier to ghost than to be a responsible adult and communicate your feelings.
Tell that to your time/wallet/intent/lower porbability of sex etc ...
I have and the results are steady and nice. Do you want me to say them anything else?
I think it's more a reaction to past cruelty that makes people speak out like that. We all wish people at least owed us the truth.
You realize you put women at the same risk. Nobody can trust that a man they can't Google then isn't gonna rape and murder then.
It's your feels vs their safety. Sorry bro but I would stay clear away from someone who refuses to tell me who they are.
i don't really understand how the time you spent driving has anything to do with this
Oh I gave up at 28 and got a cat is that good enough?
Just go oversee's - they like nice guys but in the States, they have unrealistic expectations.
Do you google the last names you are using, just in case they have a bad rap?
No cause then u will just keep going and going and going until everyone leaves. Have the last word Sonu can sleep at night.
How did women manage to not get raped and murdered before google? :s youre and idiot.
Sorry about you being wrong, mate. Sleep tight
Keep trying, stay strong
That's called prejudice. I understand the impulse, but still, most people are decent and deserve the benefit of the doubt.
Um, what means “Kind of...” ?
Again, seemingly unpredictable but just complex. See Gero Moesembachs TED talk.
Gero actually compares brain neurons to a circuit board.
"legitimately" Yeah right, you don't know anything about the two of them.
No, they don't, not when it comes to my own safety.
ATTENTION females will go out to dinner with you because they are hungry. End of line.
welcome to the friend zone.
Then enjoy being alone. I went through 15 years of child abuse and I trust people because it's healthier for me.
Did that twice. One guy persistently suggested we go to his place "for tea" even after I told him, the other one looked pissed.
With all due respect, people of all ages are succeeding at dating nowadays. I’m gonna be dating in the old age Home.
I ghosted this one girl so hard I never even met her in the first place. She never even found out what happened.
I know of older men getting young hot chicks. It’s possible.
Thats it. She keeps op in the stand by de until have the Plan A scheduled.
What? You have 2 more good years left before going full cat lady
Can I give you a hint? If you drive 3 hours to see her, she thinks you're desperate... don't question it. That's how the lady mind works.
That’s why you always plow on the first date, that way if they ghost you, there’s no real loss ????
Oh no that was a year and a half ago I'm almost 30
Honestly this has happened to me far too many times in the past year since getting tinder. Girls just don’t want a nice guy
I was ghosted by a girl I really started to feel for, i met her on here. She made me feel like a person but idk what happened.
SOR stands for Sex Offender Registry. So there's a good chance that there was little dating going on.
No shit Sherlock. In other news, shit stinks.
Well if you look at OP's username
an hour and a half isnt that far
As a woman, I have different safety concerns than you'll ever have, do you not see that?
If it makes you feel better, I let myself get stood up by the same person 3 weeks in a row...
Rape her dad
Dating is overrated. I'll just stick with my friends, Like solitude and depression.
Im indirectly relevant!
Being a 6'8 man means women always treat me like a threat. They get so uncomfortable by my presence that I've given up entirely dating
BUT JESUS IS MY LIFE!!!!
Men are more often the victims of all forms of violence. But men are not TOLD to be afraid. Women are cruelly lied to, to keep them afraid 1
Started my first real relationship at 29, lasted 2.5 years. Got me past the turning 30 thing, but all downhill since
Because a woman's traditional role is the meekly protected. Fuck that. There is nothing stopping you from being your own protector. 2
Eh keep at it. This stuff happens to many of us. Only serves to make you stronger. Everything awards you with experience.
so...”not all men”, right?
Your safety concerns are extremely different from your reality. Not your fault: you have been taught to feel this. You can unlearn it too.
Then what's he bitching about. Like the world owes him a girlfriend.
My safety concerns are because of my reality. What a dumb thing to say.
Generally I agree, she doesn't. But c'mon, ghosting is pretty damn rude. Why not be a mature adult and just be upfront about your feelings?
2018 has been bad for your love life? 1983 - 2018 has been bad for my love life.
Although I know it must be hard, the best thing to do to respect her is to move on.
She was just hungry
You are just money for her and you dodged a bullet.
Do you believe this because you live in a high-crime area, or your gender? If your gender, why are you concerned for your safety?
That tends to upset people more than honesty.
Hopefully she at least did mouth stuff with you first.
Sometimes people seem worthwhile. I wouldn't say an hour and half is as far as you'd think tho.
I have a feeling that this is more common than ever before but I have nothing to prove it.
Because ghosting people is rude. She's an adult, not a preschooler. Use words!
She probably doesn't trust his reactions to be civil. You hear a lot about"nice guys" abusing girls when they're rejected
But she is being her own protector by being protective? How else should women protect themselves?
Welcome to modern dating: a series
Baby, that's just cynical.
Judging from the 19 downvotes THERE'S STILL A CHANCE!
According to a recent survey of people dating, an astonishing 50% of dates are non-relationship starters.
Does that mean that they weren't interested in a relationship (like friends or meeting someone new), were only looking for sex or both?
Take a self-defense class. Carry mace. Walk with confident body language. These are all proven better than saying nothing out of fear.
2 Avoiding risk means you have no defense if something bad does happen. Confronting risk makes you better prepared if it does.
I'm being downvoted for saying that women do not have to think of themselves as victims, because they are strong, capable adults. Huh.
the worst thing you can do is date when you're desperate. it shows. it always shows. and it's a huge turnoff.
get comfy with your situation or improve it, live life, rest will come with time.
Also happened to me. And holy shit, the confusion of "does she want me to try harder?" damn near drove me to stalking behaviors. Bad juju.
A serious amount of stress could have been averted with just a "I don't want to talk anymore. Goodbye." text. Something. Anything.
I got married. It's kind of like winning the special olympics.
This has happened to me too and I’m a female. It fuckin sucks
How do You know she changed her mind? Two days aint long. How did you respond to her absence?
She agreed for a new date only because she hadn't the gut to tell you no after the first one. Easiest escape way ...
There are other fish in the sea. You need to respect the other's feelings too. Don't let rejection get to you and move on!
Had a girl make plans with me then nothing. Not blocked, just ghosted. But she is real recognizable and works as a waitress at a pop. place.
Wish she told me something because now I can't go there and run into her in case she thinks I'm stalking. Ugh.
Fun fact: Ghosting someone makes you the biggest jerk.
This isnt OP or maybe they commented using their real account like an idiot
Hey dumbass, sorry your sis got raped and murdered but you left no inclination there was more to your comment. Thats on you
before she responds with this, tracy asks "can i use your computer?"
Don’t take it bad. 1 1/2 drive is inconvenient, and she may have liked you but realize she wouldn’t be able to call and say come over now
It can be, especially when she calls and says come over I can’t sleep.
What does "tried pushing himself on me" mean? Idk if you mean it but that makes it sound like you felt you were almost rape or something
Well there are two sides of the story, obviously, but ideally two adults should be able to explain the disinterest. Not required but polite.
If some one googled me they'd find some lord of the rings artist... Not me. I've got almost no online presence.
And we care because?
Didn't return further calls after my blind date got drunk, stepped on my foot while dancing, broke my shoe, & knocked off my big toenail.
After a 90 minute drive, that date should end with an anal creampie.
Fuck that bitch. Well not literally as for you it would be a felony. Just move on dawg. Plenty more fish in the sea.
Next time just spray paint to cover over the Peado wording on the van. Good luck.
People... are an unpredictable species. They do not know what they want. TV rom-coms and dating shows have spoilt it.
"Liz Lemon, mind if I Google myself in your office." -Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock - Michael Scott
Not chicken. She didn't want to raise the possibility of being shamed, bashed, or raped. Or all.
She saw his username
Have we really reached a point where even the smallest attempts to defend our gender gets shot down with "not all men" by default?
It's because of all the cats.
Get violent? Wtf is wrong with ppl..
Either that or she Googled you and found horrific things
Asking for a second date while on the first one is a rookie error. Roo. Kie. Err. Or. so rookie.
You have to remember so women just date to reduce their grocery bills
She warned me but I didn’t think she would actually not talk to me after that
I let me feelings blind me
She saved you a shitload of money, fuck that bitch, move to the next
Whut? They should giggle like little girls. Are you just a fat fuck??
I agree, but it happens a lot!
I think it's because it's seen as really unconstructive; 1/2
Like entering a discussion about how speeding kills by saying "I never break the speed limit".
Hey. You're attractive enough to be a side piece. (wish I at least had that going for me)
Interesting, I had no idea. I dont date american women so i didnt really know this was an issue.
Being ghosted hurts dawg, especially if you had feelings for them. It's far better if they are honest & upfront if they don't like you.
See, we all get that, but it's as you said. You can always shoot a text after. Ghosting is a shitty thing to do to someone.
What did she say as a warning?
OP's frustrated that he was ghosted. Do point out where he's bitching that the world owes him anything? Or are you just projecting?
The whole point of making a post is to have a bitch. He feels like she shouldn't have been ghosted. That's an arrogant thought.
Reading comments like this I genuinely wonder if you lot think us men are just great apes ready to frenzy at a moments notice....
It works, but again ppl on here quick to judge without reading the material first. I read it and saw issues within myself. I’m married now
Being ghosted feels shitty because of the uncertainty that stays with you for weeks & months. Not exactly a clean cut. How is not wanting
that arrogant? And sure, people post and whine about a lot of stuff. Feel free to press the "Next" button instead of bitching yourself.
Of course that doesn't mean you should tell people to fuck off. Be polite, say what you mean, have a clean cut.
It's not about owing anything. It's about treating people the way you would want to be treated. Ghosting can be quite cruel.
The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions. He shouldn't act surprised to be ghosted unless he's actuallya good guy
To the guys: If you have a stable job and are not completely off your rocker wait until your 30s. You'll be surprised.
What's so bad about a 1.5 hour drive?
Everything nuanced is too edgy for you.
Oh? Is this the start of you conducting psychoanalysis of my person through my comment history? Continue, I'm looking forward to that.
No, it was just in regards to how you responded to a Nietzsche quote
And? Nietzsche was a nihilist, are you insinuating that you are too? If that's the case what's your stake in discussing love?
I'm learning a lot from you. Or should I say, about you?
People can do with a little nihilism. We're already an awfully narcissistic, entitled culture. It's good to be grounded
I am very fun at parties?
Frankly I doubt you're old enough to be allowed to parties. But I bet you'll be very fun one day.
No, when I've been desperate I look internally to fix my problems to make me not desperate, instead of looking for the solution for
someone else to fix the problem for me. If you can't be happy alone, you and your SO won't be happy together.
You can have parties at any age you dumb fuck.
Speak for yourself. If anyone's coming across as narcissistic and entitled it's you at this very moment.
Let me amend that, Don't try to ... then complain about the 1.5 drive afterwards.
How so? Using those definitions
In Texas you can hardly get anywhere in 1.5 hours. So yeah, I'm used to driving 5-6 hours to get where I need to be.
Oops, looks like you reached your limit for being civil. Good thing you can always fall back to personal attacks, right?
I'm not here to educate you, I'm sure you can find that out by yourself if you really reflect on the things you said in our brief exchange.
You had a personal attack at me.
Fair enough. Completely different point, but I do enjoy long drives. Idk why people complain (except when theres bad traffic I guess)
How can I be narcissistic or entitled if I'm talking about someone else's situation???
Fine, I'll be brief. You're implying that humanity as a whole would be better of if they were more like you.
I did? Was it because I called your little Nietzsche quote edgy?
Hardly, nihilism is a concept. It's not my whole identity. That's like saying I'm narcissistic for wanting the world to be liberal
What you were implying, clumsily, was the idea that I was too young to be taken seriously.
Make of that what you will, as I said I'm not here to educate you.
Come to texas, you can drive for 2 hours and not see another vehicle.
Was I wrong? You come across as learned but inexperienced. Book-smart. Like a kid who's trying very hard to seem intelligent.
You've obviously still struggling to educate yourself on philosophical constructs and personal identity.
A person that reads stuffy philosophy books, Richard Dawkins and the like just to be able to say that they read them. It's okay, I'm not
insulting you for reading. I'm just pointing out that despite your intelligence you display childish behavior.
The one time that I decided to let a date know in person that I was not interested in going on another date in the future, he turned (1/?)
You're wrong. My whole point is essentially that Nietzsche quote and you've never addressed it.
and snapped at me. Was after 3 dates maybe. I don't want to be verbally assaulted for letting someone know I'm not interested. (2/?)
You have yet to actually make your point. All you did so far was quote Nietzsche.
I made it originally.. It's how we are not entitled to be loved by someone and you shouldn't complain when a casual going falls through.
Sounds tempting, but I'm way too spoiled by the Autobahn to get used to TX speed limits. :D
The horror stories of women being shot, or killed or physically assaulted after rejecting someone influence every woman's attitude. (3/?)
So yes, my safety is more important than giving every man I meet on one date the benefit of the doubt that he will not somehow react (4/?)
Yeah, 75 - 80 MPH is good enough though. Anything faster and your truck might run out of fuel before you hit a pump.
depending on where you are going.
That's two points though. 1. We all deserve love, in one form or another. Without we can't live. 2. Everyone may complain if it helps get
past the frustration. For a guy claiming to know your psychology you seem to struggle to understand the basic impulse of needing to vent.
badly to rejection. I ghost, I let someone know I'm no longer interested via text or call. But I won't risk my physical safety. (5/5)
1. We don't, we have to earn it. If you die from lack of love so what? 2. What good is venting without constructive criticism?
That's fair and I do understand your point. I don't doubt what you're saying, it just makes me sad because I feel that it's becoming
"common knowledge" to treat a man like a dangerous animal.
I do agree though that many of us have never properly learned how to deal with rejection & frustration. That doesn't excuse the behavior but
it does somewhat explain at at least. Future generations will have to be better than us, I suppose.
See, and there's the problem. You think love has to be earned, I think love must be unconditional for it to be real. Our argument ends here.
You're going to have unconditional love to every 6/10 you swipe right to on tinder?
I just started to somewhat respect your arguments and you revert to this childish way of retorting? You ARE a child even if you're over 18.
Don't shift blame easily. Maybe you were creeping her out. Don't get your hopes up on a 1st. It's a numbers game. try to date more locally.
Probably that he tried to make out with her without warning and it ended up in a chipped tooth? It didn't sound like she meant rape to me.
....you're not wrong. Plus if she had turned him down there he'd be complaining about how he drove all that way to be rejected.
Had a girl do something similar to me. I see her every day. I asked her out. She said maybe. 2 days later texted me her rejection.
(1/?) The problem with books like that is that they is that they try to package self improvement with harmful ideas like "only X is manly,"
Not that it's what happened, but I only ghost a person if I feel uncomfortable making them angry or if they've shown signs of aggression....
Or if they've disrespected me somehow. If you've been a cunt to me for no reason, I'm not messaging/talking to you ever again. No reason to.
(2/?) And "all women want X." These are setting you up for failure because they are inherently false. Anyone claiming to "know the secret of
(3/?) The opposite sex" is selling you something. The o my way to understand the opposite sex is to understand people, since everyone
To be fair it's easier to not play if you're slightly less desirable than a sex-crazed syphilitic Barbary ape with irritable bowel syndrome.
(4/?) Is an individual, and there is no set rule of what any group wants, or likes. Also, it's unhealthy to go into a relationship with the
(5/5) Goal of dominating, or controlling your partner.
I'm sure there a few people that it will work on, but my point is that it's an unhealthy way to approach relationships.
Yeah, it can be scary sometimes and you never really know for sure who will take rejection poorly until it's already happening.
Which book resource would you recommend as the best for how a man can connect with a woman?
Yeah, we do, you probably just aren't as nice as you think you are.
Aye, take it as someone being too immature to tell you. Chicken shit and what have you. Move on.
I had a bf of a whole year just ghosts me out of the blue. Didn't even answer the door and I didn't know why. Never did get an explanation
Yeah, but in this context I admit to having skipped ahead.
The impressionable child that had been groomed.
The fact he can't see that is likely part of the problem.
I didn't say it was right. I just understand. I've ghosted in the past with some people. Creeps usually.
I feel you brother. Had one date ghost me after the second date. Truly bizarre. We had a great time.
Nah, you’re being DV’d bc as a capable adult I know no amount of self defense can save me from someone bigger than me. Safety trumps nicety.
True, I’m just referring to driving in general
Thats what I suspected
saying “well I don’t do it” doesn’t change anything about the fact that women have to expect potential violence when turning down man.
Also depends on where you live. I’ve driven 100 miles and 13 miles in the same amount of time.
If it's tinder, it tends to happen because they're 'juggling' other guys at the same time, looking for the best catch
They find one and everyone else gets dropped
meet half way, dont be the main giver.
Like his username...
She totally searched you on social media and didn't like what she saw. Or at least, that's what I'd tell myself.
Next! As a side note, a 1 1/2 hour drive to her place just sucks. There is no 'one' person for anyone, find someone closer.
I've had it done to me, and I've done it to people. It's not an easy decision.
turns out for me too, ya gotta go on 1000 bad dates for 1 good one! Good luck :)
Its incredible that i just wanted clarification but got downvotes instead.
You did say "muh safety" elsewhere so it could be taken as you being an ass, not as a genuine question
Well, now I’d want to know what part of Baltimore before I said that...and if it was a suburb or actual Baltimore. But yeah...probably.
She owes OP an explanation. Ghosting is for assholes
Yes - sorry bro - but it wasn't a good date. Turn down the radius on your dating app.
I’m sorry I’m not seeing what’s wrong here. She told you, she didn’t ghost you, what more do you want?
A bit of time in the gym and some confidence go a long way as utterly cliche as that sounds
Jesus first relationship at 29? What the hell were you doing during your youth?
Considering most people in this discussion are bringing up anecdotal evidence, I fail to see how I did any different?
Saying "I felt there was potential violence..." is anecdotal evidence. How is what I said any different?
A gun. Mace. There are entire martial arts styles based on using an opponent's size against them. And AVOIDING RISK DOESN'T MAKE YOU SAFER.
2 "Safety" is a futile goal. Life will fuck with you. If you don't make yourself hard enough to take it, you will be left defenseless.
Getting avoided by girls, just like ever since...
The right one will come.
Hmm, I suppose so. Thanks for the info!
I fundamentally disagree, avoiding risks increases safety (ex, seatbelt in cars). My life> your feelings- I don’t need to provoke a fight.
Also v confused as to how safety isn’t a goal? What’s your goal?
She didn't ghost you....her parents just took away her cell phone for staying out much too late for a 6th grader.....
Avoiding risk would be to not drive at all. Driving assertively with a belt is confronting risk with sensible precautions. All I'm sayin'.
safety's like happiness: it's not a place you arrive at and you're just done and can relax. The worst things in your life will always 1
blindside you. There are simply too many risks to hope to avoid them all. So it's better to make yourself strong enough to run or endure. 2
BTW, I'm saying this as a child abuse victim. This is what works for me. I've learned to prioritize learning and having fun whenever I can.3
Ur right, u just don't date somebody cuz it was nice then all of a sudden say nuthin and ghost them thats rude u tell them why .
It didnt sound like rape but it sounded far more serious than just a kiss
Tbh dude that’s rough but a horrible coping mechanism. Like smoking crack bc the fun is better than the risk. Hope you get pro help
we’re discussing women who’ve been threatened and how it’s a common issue and you’re trying to write itoff by taking it as a personal insult
What do you expect? If you spread a generalisation about how violence is common among men people are going to step out and defend themselves
Women do exactly the same, as would anybody else when you make a statement about their whole demographic.
Who said I took it as an insult?
You never answered my question. I am truly curious why women feel so unsafe. I literally do not understand it.
I have taken so many risks that have turned out better than I've ever expected. I'm not living in fear. I feel sorry you don't understand.
Lol dude. She didn't change her mind. She made her mind up within the first 5 minutes.
WELL THEY DO DONT THEY ?
Lol what the fuck are you even
You drive 8 hours for a girl. And you are calling HER unstable ?
Because fuck penguins that's why
oh, no no, i KNOW im mental. but she... has had traumatic life events these past two months that shook her to her core.